Millers in Mymensingh

Tears

2010-05-01T09:46:00.000+06:00

Tears are a river that takes you somewhere. Weeping creates a river around the boat that carries your soul-life. Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace new, someplace better.

There are oceans of tears women have never cried, for they have been trained to carry mother's and father's secrets, men's secrets, society's secrets, and their own secrets, to the grave. A woman's crying has been considered quite dangerous, for it loosens the locks and bolts on the secrets she bears. But in truth, for the sake of a woman's wild soul, it is better to cry. For women, tears are the beginning of initiation into the Scar Clan, that timeless tribe of women of all colors, all nations, all languages, who down through the ages have lived through a great something, and yet who stood proud. - Clarissa Pinkola Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves

These were the words I read when I opened up my book this morning and they touched me. I'm reminded of some others words that say God collects all our tears in a bottle. I wonder what happens to them. I like the idea of them carrying us, like a river, to a better place. It gives me hope.

Our lives are changing drastically. We recently withdrew our extension plans with MCC and will be moving back to the States in June. It has been a very difficult decision to make and we are in various stages of grieving, sorting, packing and saying "good bye". We are grateful for these past 2 1/2 years here in Bangladesh and will carry many good memories home with us. We would appreciate your prayers for us during this time and as we figure out the next step of our lives.

2010 Soccer Tournement

2010-02-16T12:04:00.000+06:00

For months my boys have been talking about the soccer tournement with much enthusiasm! It was held at the French School, here in Dhaka, last weekend. Many international schools were invited to participate so there were quite a lot of people there.

All my boys enjoy soccer, but Jensen is passionate about it! Here he is talking with his coach and teammates.

Pruitt, going in for a kick.

They were all exhausted by the end of the day. None of their teams made it to the finals but they were good sports and still enjoyed the day. We took them to A&W (yes, there actually is one here!) for floats, to cool off at the end of a long and rather warm day.

Celebrating With My Boys

2010-02-16T11:32:00.000+06:00

My boys, with the help of their creative Dad, made a really cool banner for me out of handmade paper. It said "Mommy" and had lots of little flowers on it too. I was impressed!

Hanging the banner...

The chocolate cake they made for me...

Pruitt giving me flowers...

And out to dinner at a Thai/Indian Restaurant. A great way to end a great day.

All In a (Thurs) Day

2010-02-05T12:32:00.000+06:00

It has been a while since I've written about normal day-to-day life here...

Yesterday "Littles" was home with a cough and fever. He played some with lego, watched some cartoons, played Mathletics. My mother-in-law came over for coffee and we had a good time of connecting again. Then I filled my great big insulated bag with cinnamon rolls, maple cookies and chili soup to refill the freezer over at the MCC's expat team house which we all call the Bat Cave. I threw together some lunch, which Littles nibbled at and then we played a couple games before he took a long nap. Before I knew it, the other 2 were home from school and ready for a snack. They then made a lovely chocolate cake (with a little oversight and a lot of cocoa on the flour). The three of them spent the evening at their Grandparents' place while Austin and I had an evening out. We spent a good bit of the evening delivering some boxes of Sacred Mark soap across town to the most wonderful little shop in the Westin called Pebbles. Pebbles sells the most beautiful knitted creations - toys, sweaters and blankets for little ones, all hand made here in Bangladesh. And now they sell our soap too! We took in some lovely red basket soap sets, wrapped in heart strings, for Valentine's Day. But first we had to go around the back of the hotel and carry our boxes through security. The Bangladeshi guards all looked at us as if we were crazy to do this ourselves. ( We live in a country where people will call the servant to turn on the fan, even when the switch is within arm's reach. A generalization, I know,but I have seen it happen on more than one occasion. And in saying this, i am not trying to "dis" my host country. I just find it humorous at times and maddening at others). We opened our boxes and and the guy waved his little metal detector over it. It kept beeping and he couldn't figure out why. Later Austin told me it was the guard's watch that kept getting in the way but he never seemed to catch on. They waved us on and showed us where to go. Can't say I've ever entered a 5 star hotel through the back entry and it was interesting. We found our way to Pebbles, turned over the soap and I oohed and aahed over all the baby stuff, wondering what my new nephew would like, falling in love with all kinds of girly stuff and wondering when this family is ever going to have girls for me to go crazy over. But I digress! From there we did a bit of grocery shopping at one of my favorite little import stores and then took a nice long walk to a Mexican Restaurant. I had forgotten to buy lettuce for the special lunch I had planned so we walked to the market and loaded up on fresh produce - 3 bags for under $5. Broccoli, carrots, sweet potatoes, chinese cabbage, garlic, some exotic looking peppers, ice berg lettuce and green leaf lettuce. We headed back to our side of town in a little cng. Our driver was determined to avoid sitting in traffic and took the craziest side roads and alleys. We bumped through narrow walled alleys and I felt as if I was being squeezed through a birth canal. We went to pick up our boys and found they were all wide awake yet and as full of energy as ever. Littles wasn't' coughing much any more and was quite perky and his fever was gone. No medicine is quite as good as going to Grandma's house! Are we blessed or what, to live on the other side of the world but still 5 minutes walk away from Grandpa and Grandma!

So, that was my Thursday, the last day of the work week. And now it is Friday. We are having a quiet, much-needed day at home. It's my birthday, so I slept in and let Austin deal with getting breakfast on and am enjoying letting myself be pampered. More fun is to come, including that chocolate cake the boys made for me yesterday. Maybe I can post some pics later. For now, I'm counting my blessings and realizing I have a lot of them!

To Lift Up or To Push Down

2010-01-31T10:57:00.000+06:00

Thousands of years ago, a group of concerned people sent a delegation to inquire of the prophets whether or not they should continue their tradition of mourning and fasting on certain months of the year. Instead of giving a clear "yes" or "no" answer, God (through one of the prophets) asked them, "Was it really for me that you were fasting? Was it not for your own sakes?" The prophet then went on the share further words that he had received, " Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another. Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other." (emphasis mine)

For the past couple of days I've been mulling that over in my mind, especially the part about not oppressing widows, orphans, foreigners and the poor. I looked up the word oppress in the dictionary this morning and found that it means "to keep down by harsh and unjust treatment, to weigh heavily on." It comes from a Latin word meaning to press against.

I think that most of us, at first thought, would say that we are not doing anything to oppress the widows, the orphans, the foreigners or the poor. But sometimes I think it's more important to look at what we are not doing than what we are doing. I can't just say that I'm not oppressing anyone, pat myself on the back and continue on my merry way. What is it that I'm not doing, that is causing someone to be pushed down? Or, to put it another way, what could I be doing that would cause a widow, orphan, foreigner or poor person to not be so pushed down?

I can think of a whole list of things. For instance, yesterday a friend bought stickers from a little boy on the street and gave them to my boys because she has a big heart. I, on the other hand, brushed him away when he tried to sell them to me. Or the beggar who I ignored because I just didn't feel like digging in my bag at the moment to find some food to share but my son really wanted to give the rest of his chocolate bar to. Or I think of a friend of mine who is adopting a little one from Ethiopia, even though their family really cannot afford it. Or the immigrants in my home area who once told me they were shocked and hurt their first year in America, when no one invited them into their homes on the holidays. They came from a culture that is very warm and hospitable, quite happy to take in strangers and share with them. Or some folks I just met who are helping a Burmese refuge family adapt to life in America.

I'm convinced that no matter where in the world we find ourselves, there will be widows, orphans, foreigners and poor around us. We are either lifting them up or pushing them down. There is no middle ground.

I confess I've been so tired lately, so worn out that I have felt I couldn't care about anyone else. I'm a person who feels deeply so when I get to the point I can't feel anymore, it's a little freaky and I usually have to take some time and figure out what is going on. So I must say, it's good to feel again, even if it is feeling deeply sad, feeling regretful for not lifting up those who crossed my path.

I came across a metaphor recently that really stuck with me. It was something about us each having our own knapsack to carry but every now and then someone has a huge boulder to carry and needs our help. I think the list of people I have been mentioning live with constant boulder to carry, a load that I could do a little something (or a big something) about.

To lift up or to push down? It's a no-brainer. Why do I make it harder than it is?

Storing Up Treasures: Love is an ACTION word

2010-01-28T11:06:00.000+06:00

These are not my words, but they echo the whispers in the wind that has been swirling around me, feather-soft whispers across my heart as I dream... and wait... and wonder...

Enjoy!

Storing Up Treasures: Love is an ACTION word

Birthday Boy

2010-01-18T12:14:00.003+06:00

Full of energy, enthusiasm and smiles, mischief dances in his eyes and lurks behind those dimples. His name means a courageous cheerful one. It fits.

I can't believe my baby is 6 years old! His birthday came on the day we arrived back from our Darjeeling trip. I was grateful to a friend who had sent me a cake mix - just the perfect thing to turn out a quick treat. Riley was happy because he got to help bake and decorate it. We called it a mud cake because of all the gummy worms that are buried under those candles. Who needs a fancy bakery cake? Sometimes a little fun with Mom in the kitchen is all it takes! He was quite proud of his creation and it tasted lovely too. (My British friends are rubbing off on me but I quite like describing food as lovely!)

Of course no birthday is complete without presents. It reminds me again of the gift that Riley is to us. We are blessed...

Holiday in Darjeeling

2010-01-12T11:33:00.004+06:00

Our family had a lovely time in Darjeeling over the holidays. This was our view on the clearest day, the snow capped Kanchajunga range. We had all hoped to at least get a glimpse of snow and our wish was fulfilled. Every morning we would look out the window to see if the fog had lifted and blessed us with a view.

But even the fog had a beauty all of it's own.

Here the boys are standing under prayer flags with some friends from school who were also in Darjeeling. They had a lot of fun going to the zoo together and playing games back at the hotel.

My animal lover!

A highlight for the boys was having a pony ride.

A view of Darjeeling town from another window.

This is what I enjoyed almost more than anything - time to sit and read!

Austin and his dad took a class on making Momos.

We played lots of games.

Climbed lots of stairs - seems like everything is up and down in Darjeeling.

Waiting for breakfast on Christmas morning.

My little elf, singing to himself in the mirror.

Opening presents - a highlight for everyone!

Austin and I were the audience while the rest of the family put on a mini- Christmas pageant, with Pruitt being the director.

My in-laws as Mary and Joseph.

All in all, we had a great time. The trip to and from was long and grueling but it helped to be traveling with family. For those of you who don't know them, my in-laws make everything more interesting and I feel really blessed to have them here.

So, we saw beautiful things, beautiful people, rested, ate lots of good food, played, laughed, drank pots of coffee, went shopping, laughed some more and finally bumped our way back home to Dhaka!

Which really is a whole other story! First we were told that there was a strike and we would have to leave our hotel at 4 a.m. to get down the mountain on time to miss it. Then that was called off at the last minute and we left at at 8 instead (but oh, the drama that went on in the midst of it all as Austin tried to book a vehicle and find out the truth about the strike and our breakfast order getting misplaced...) So we made the journey down the mountain fine, had a couple hours till the bus left, so some of us went to a little shopping mall and picked up a few more goodies to take back to Bangladesh with us. I felt so relieved when we were finally pulling away on the bus, feeling like the rest would be a piece of cake. Little did I know...

An hour from the border we stopped in a long line of vehicles that were just sitting on the road. Here another strike was going on, a political party had blocked the road and refused to let anyone through. We sat and sat and I was beginning to think we were going to spend the night in some hut by the border if we didn't get there before closing. 2 hours later the police and border patrol turned up and cleared the road and we were on our way again. The bus driver had called ahead and asked the border guards to stay open a little longer for us and we were so grateful! As soon as we got off the bus, we were surrounded by a group of guys wanting to exchange money for us. We grabbed the kids in the darkness and went to the first hut to get our passports stamped - which took at least 30 minutes. As we were waiting, one of the guys told us that a Bangladeshi had been trying to cross the border illegally that morning and had been shot. From there we went to another hut that to go through customs. Before we knew it, porters had moved all our bags to the border crossing and when we got there the guards were asking us how many bags we had. By this time we had been traveling for nearly 12 hours, we were tired and it was pitch black. I had no idea how many bags we had or where they were. It didn't help that porters kept picking them up and in the darkness it was hard to tell who was who -which was why I felt more than a little freaked out, crossing no-mans land in the dark and hoped and prayed that both sides would know who we were and that all our bags would make it. I had visions of them mysteriously disappearing but it all ended well and the lights on the Bangladeshi side were quite inviting. We all grabbed pens and forms and filled them out in record time to hurry through immigration and headed for the bus with all our bags and all the children. Whew! Another sigh of relief! Later my mother-in-law asked me if I'd seen the corpse on a stretcher as we were having the struggle to count our bags at the crossing. I hadn't and was rather glad I hadn't!

By this time we were quite hungry and were told dinner break would be around 2 a.m. (which is not something we foreigners like to think about doing in the middle of the night but locals seem to be fine with it). So Austin quick bought a handful of hot parathas (fried flat bread) which tasted amazing, and we were once more on our way. We pulled into the bus station in Dhaka around 5 a.m. without further incidence - except the one when Riley woke up and let his lunch fly all over himself, his seat and my face. I'll leave it at that. Home looked so good!

'Tis the Season...

2009-12-21T14:18:00.002+07:00

We have been having beautiful days here, temps in the upper 70s during the day, cool enough to sleep under a blanket at night. It's green out (well, at least under the layer of dust) and the flowers are entering their peak season. So it's hard to feel like it's nearly Christmas. The boys have been off of school for nearly a week now. We had a great big cookie baking day when some team members were in town, dipped some chocolates too - thanks to my big-hearted Mom who sent lots of goodies to us. That was a lot of fun and helped us feel a little more like it really is December. We helped throw a cookie/fuchka party for the office. I brought in the tiny little tree we keep on the verandah and the boys helped me string up lights and hang little elephants. I must say I don't miss the hectic schedules that most folks "back home" have at this time of year. On the other hand, I do miss those times of being with friends and family. As I sit in the light of the tree, sipping coffee in the early morning darkness, I find myself wrapped in bittersweet feelings - and I am learning to taste it all, the bitter and the sweet. But that is a whole other subject...

Merry Christmas everybody!

Recent Highlights

2009-12-10T13:57:00.004+07:00

The past month has been full and overflowing. It would be impossible to put it all into words so I am just going to share a few highlights.

Steve and Rhoda Zook, friends from Ohio, came and spent 2 weeks with us. We thoroughly enjoyed taking them around both Dhaka and Mymensingh, to all our favorite places.

Last night was the Christmas production at school. Riley took part in the Donkey Dance - he pretty much stood on the stage with a big grin on his face, bumping into a fellow donkey from time to time.

Jensen was an astrologer for King Herod.

Pruitt was an innkeeper. They each thoroughly enjoyed their roles.

Other highlights - Korbani Eid which gave an opportunity t dress up and go visit friends, not to mention feasting!

Thanksgiving was extra special, thanks to friends from the home office who went a turkey and fresh cranberries over.

Lots of shopping trips with our friends.

We visited a number of projects with them. Here a batiked sari has just been dipped in indigo dye.

We went through a paper-making project called Banoful.

Jensen took a trip with his class to Mymensingh, to visit Sacred Mark and other projects.

There have been a couple suitcases full of goodies to unpack.

Pruitt had his hair dyed red.

And I finally got to see this little princess, the same one I went to see in the hospital about 6 months back (and posted a photo of). She is one precious little girl!

There is much more I could write about - exhilarating moments and deep sadness. Suffice it to say that the changes of the past months have been draining. It was a deep blessing to have friends here and now that they are gone, I'm sensing the need to create a quiet space in my life, a space to listen, to heal, to rest. So I am doing things that are uncomfortable for me - asking for help, admitting I can't do it all, taking some time off... waiting to see where the journey will take me.

Fall Festival and Farewell

2009-11-02T12:16:00.002+07:00

This past weekend the school hosted a Fall Festival to raise money for a slum school. Students brought in gently used items to sell and a number of vendors were there as well, including Sacred Mark. Austin helped them to get set up in the morning as it was the first time they participated in such an event. They sold kanthas (quilted sari blankets) and handmade soap. It was quite a hit!

We also hosted a farewell for the Fishers, who are leaving soon. It's been really sad for us to have so many people leave.

I found some cute outfits for the girls that I couldn't resist getting for them so here they are modeling them. The boys keep asking, "Is this the last time we will see them?". They have had an enormous amount of fun together.

Looks like Riley found another superman to hang out with!

Sri Mongol

2009-10-27T11:03:00.002+07:00

We had a fantastic weekend in Sri Mongol recently. We went with 4 other families from school and the kids practically lived outside for 3 days. They were given a newborn kitten from the "village", to take care of while they were there. They spent a lot of time feeding it and taking care of it.

Riley is such an animal lover and was overjoyed to have a little kitty to love.

We walked down to the river one day, through the tea garden and these rubber trees, so the kids could splash and get as muddy as they wanted to.

And they did! I just sat on a blanket with the other moms, exchanging stories and trying not to think about what all could be in the mud.

Why do boys feel the need to conquer steep banks?

It was so good to let the boys be boys, to get dirty, be loud, run around, be outdoors. They rode bikes for the first time in 2 years, thanks to other friends who took bikes along and shared. They rode scooter, tried to play tennis, spied on each other, roasted marshmallows at the bbq by the pool, went swimming and had very fun time!

I spent one day sick, in bed. My first thought was that it wasn't a good place to be sick but then I decided there couldn't be a better place to be sick. I didn't have to worry about the kids, I had a great book along and every time I looked up I saw green, green and more green - and even a monkey outside the window.

All too soon we packed up and headed back to our concrete jungle.

Faces of the Poor, Faces of Myself

2009-10-09T10:33:00.003+07:00

Life has been intense lately and I feel as if I've been running from one thing to the next. The other afternoon I needed to go across town to the boys' school for parent teacher meetings. It was hot, I was tired and I had a hard time finding transportation. Finally after 20 minutes I found a little electric cart that would go. He wanted a lot but I was glad to be on my way. Little did I know that these carts are slow, very slow! But I decided to catch my breath and enjoy the scenery. It gave me time to think, as the cars, buses and cngs went whizzing past. As we waited at one of the intersections, the beggars began to surround the cart. At first it was some children, hoping for some money or mango bars that I usually carry with me. When I told them I didn't have any this time, they were happy to shake my hand instead. Then the adults came - a dignified elderly, bearded gentleman who always wears a long punjabi and a toopi on his head, prayer beads around his neck and paan stained lips. An old woman who always seems to be wearing a faded blue sari, has soft milky eyes, a lone whisker on her chin and a solemn face. A spirited young mother with a bright smile on her face and with a naked toddler on her hips. As each of them came up to me, the first thing they did was ask how I was doing. I was taken aback. These dear folks seemed to be genuinely interested in how I was doing. In fact, I think the dear old woman was the only one of them who asked me for anything at all. After chatting a bit they all wondered on to other vehicles and I was left alone with my thoughts.

I was struck by the thought that in these beggars I had seen the face of God. In the midst of an extremely stressful period of time, God had showed concern for me through the poor. In the sparkling eyes of the children I had seen the love the Almighty has for life itself. In the greetings of the adults I was greeted by the Divine. In being surrounded by this group of humanity I felt a solidarity, a connection.

Sometimes it is good for us to have the tables turned, to speak in a metaphor, so that we can see things in a new way. Later in the day I read an interesting article on poverty by Claudio Oliver. The link is Article--Why I stopped serving the poor. One thought that has stayed with me is that of seeing myself in the poor, my own miserableness, my own need for help and healing. It helps put things back in perspective, that I really am no better than they are. Sure, I have a different work ethic and I'm quite happy with my work ethic but that does not put me above them. In fact, thinking back to that moment of being surrounded, what stands out to me is the calmness that each one of them portrayed. The rest of us are so busy rushing around, trying to please everyone and earn enough so we can do even more things and please even more people. The poor live in the moment. They are not rushing, not striving - at least not the ones I see. I have seen some pretty happy beggars, some that are down right hilarious. Like the old lady who buys my father-in-law tea and grabbed flowers from a vendor and gave them to my mother-in-law when they were having their photo taken. I love those moments when they are caught off guard, just enjoying life. I see it the most in the children. The best example is a little girl who was smiling and talking to us until she all at once remembered she was expected to beg and look sad so she put on a sad face just like that and started talking in a whiny voice. It cracked me up and made me sad at the same time. So I won't say the poor don't have pressures or feel the need to please or perform. But still, they have a way of living in the moment and enjoying the little things in life that the rest of us could learn something from.

I met with a group of people to listen to some psychologists share one evening about depression and burn out. The struggle to deal with poverty was one topic that came up. One of the speakers made some comment about the guilt we feel when we do not give to the poor as actually being pride, in the sense that I have something that would make them happy if I gave it to them. Like being poor is a bad thing and they would be happier if they were like me and I have the power to fix this. Ahem.

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally against the injustice that nearly always comes to those who are poor. But when you really look at it, we are all poor and desperately needy.

In the words of Jesus, God blesses those who are poor and who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

Birthday Time!

2009-09-27T09:44:00.002+07:00

I can hardly believe I've been a mom for a whole decade now! Jensen had his 10th birthday yesterday. The day started bright and early with sports at one of the international schools. Jensen loves football (I'm afraid we've become a bit more English as the boys never call it soccer anymore) and it's been a great outlet for his enormous energy tank!

We had a party for him later at the club and invited his classmates and a few other friends. They had a high old time splashing and laughing together.

While I don't regret the years I have had Jensen at home, it has been a delight to watch him grow and thrive in an international classroom. His enthusiasm and leadership abilities can sometimes be a bit much for his brothers but it seems he has put it to good use at school. He pours hours into his homework, not because he has to but because he is having so much fun learning. His teacher tells me that when the other kids start groaning about things they need to do, he shows so much excitement that it helps them to get excited too. It's been a blessing to me to see him reaching out to the really shy kids as well as learning to work through conflict with those who have strong opinions. He's not perfect and he definitely doesn't have perfect parents and we still have our moments... but he is a great kid and I'm glad to be his mother. My prayer for him as he grows older is that he would be able to hear the words the Almighty is speaking to him and that he would speak those words back to the world through the way he lives his life.

A Relaxing Weekend After a Crazy Week

2009-09-06T11:10:00.003+07:00

What a week it was! Riley was sick for a couple of days and by the time he was better, Pruitt was sick. I spent nearly 2 hours in traffic on Thursday, going to and from the school to pick him up. He spent the next 24 hours in bed. We all stayed at home Friday and chilled out. By afternoon he was up and about, not hungry, but with enough "umph" to push his younger brother around in their homemade ambulance. We watched Ice Age 3 in the evening, much to the boys' delight! Pruitt woke up Saturday morning, fever gone and feeling good, ready to eat a good breakfast and wanting very much to go to Saturday Sports. The American School has a sports program for kids to play various sports on Saturday mornings so we headed over there to register and pick up uniforms. We missed Pruitt and Riley's time slots but they were fine playing with their friends on the playground and Jensen enjoyed an hour of soccer with his age group. In the afternoon they went to a friend's birthday party and had a total riot, riding bumper cars and roller coasters, while Austin and I talked more about our options for the future over cups of cafe mochas. We all hit the sack, happy from a good weekend.

The feeling didn't last too long though. Soon I got up to check on the boys, after hearing a suspicious sound. My nose soon confirmed that someone was sick again. Poor Pruitt was violently ill. We helped him back to bed and he is feeling much better this morning, though still not back to normal. Was it something he ate yesterday? A recurrence of what he had the other days? Who knows.

He's been through a lot lately but I'm glad to see him starting to bounce back. A little bit ago, he put on 2 pairs of socks and tied a variety of ropes around his ankles and tried to convince me to let him tie himself to the window grille so that he could hang upside down. I just didn't think a concussion was something I wanted to deal with right now so I persuaded him to leave that for professionals. He has turned his attention to trying to pull a loose tooth and stringing beads into a necklace.

Needless to say, I'm tired. I was hoping for a quiet, "normal" week but it seems as if normal has become a bit too crazy for my liking. At least being a mom of 3 boys gives me lots of opportunities to laugh!

Plumeria Petals

2009-09-01T16:42:00.003+07:00

Time has been flying by and September is here already. The boys are really enjoying school. We were able to go and meet all of the teachers and are again so grateful for this opportunity for our boys to learn in such a positive and fun environment.

Ramadan is here once again. I'm still waking up nearly every morning when the loudspeaker announces that it's time to get up and make breakfast (so they can eat before dawn). I've been hearing new voices on the streets during the day, shouting out their wares or begging. The amount of vegetable carts coming through seem to have tripled and as the month goes on I expect to hear more and more beggars. After living on this street for over a year I am able to recognize the voices of the hawkers and beggars that normally come through so when I hear a new voice it makes me wonder who they are, where they come from and what kind of story they have. Prices in general are going up and dairy products are starting to dwindle as most of the milk is being turned into ghee or curds for mishti ( a unique line of sweets that are quite popular here). The office hours have shortened a bit and traffic is even more overwhelming than usual, as even more people are out and about, doing Eid shopping, etc.

Otherwise, life goes on pretty much the same as always. The monsoon seems to be lingering a bit, bringing some relief to the heat. Austin has been putting in extra hours to get the Source ready for re-opening. The Source is the local store that sells handmade paper and various handicrafts made by MCC partners and was recently renovated.

Since the boys have been back in school I have had a bit more time to experiment in the kitchen. My current project is making homemade mozzarella cheese. Lets just say that I need a lot more practise! Despite the fact that the boys are gone most of the day, it feels like I am cooking more than ever for them. There is very little that they all like (to eat cold, that is) so I often pack three very different lunches. One loves chicken nuggets or deviled eggs, one occasionally eats peanut butter and jelly and the other one loves parota and baji (fried spicy veggies with fried flat bread) and wants it every day. The only thing they agree on currently is hot dogs wrapped in strips of dough and baked so if I don't hear the alarm (which has been happening a lot lately), that's what they get.

I know this had nothing to do with plumeria petals, but since the photo is plumerias, I gave it that title anyway. I count myself blessed to live in plumeria country. Come to think of it, I have a lot of blessings!

The End of Summer

2009-08-10T08:55:00.002+07:00

This morning marked the end of summer for us, as the boys went back to school. Here they are in front of our apartment building, waiting for the bus to come. (In case you are interested, ours is the 2nd one up on the right, or 3rd if you count the parking garage as first floor.)

The 2 months of summer vacation have slipped away, leaving this mommy with a bittersweet feeling. When school let out last June, I was so exhausted that I didn't know how I was going to manage having them home every day for 2 months. But having some restful time away has done wonders for us all. We laughed, we played, we explored new places. So, while they got on the bus this morning full of enthusiasm, I was sorry to see them go. Not that I have any regrets. To see how far I've come in this time tells me that some good stuff happened this summer and it gives me a little bit of hope and inspiration for the future.

Final Days

2009-07-29T22:29:00.002+07:00

The last few days were packed full of all kinds of fun stuff. Austin took the boys to Waterbom Park and they soaked it up while I went shopping. We repacked all our stuff (after even more shopping excursions). Between Carrefour, Makro and different malls, I was busy and happy. We even had time to chill out a bit before heading out.

We shared our yard with a rabbit the last 2 days and Riley totally fell in love with it. Whenever we would get food out, it would be right there, sniffing away and quietly waiting for us to share. He cried on the plane ride home, about having to leave the rabbit behind.

We played games on Austin's birthday, went for a walk to a nearby cafe but missed the road and ended up 2 kilometers away. So we took a taxi back and enjoyed every bite of our chocolate tarts and cheese crossaints. Then we went to a local buffet and had huge plates of rice and loads of veggies and chicken. All 5 of us loved the food on Bali, which made a great vacation even better.

There was a jacuzzi in the yard. The water was cold but that didn't stop Pruitt from jumping in again and again.

Oh, the sheer beauty of the place, both within the walls and without. I cherish the memories.

More...

2009-07-29T21:28:00.002+07:00

Aah, my favorite time of day!

We went snorkeling one morning - without our camera. Besides, a photo would not do justice to the marvel of the coral reef and the electric colored fish. Anyway, in the boat on the way back, Pruitt made up a song about liking to swim with doggies. So when we got back, he and Riley sang it to us again and again.

Late afternoon was the best time for swimming, after the tide went out. Here they are with a new friend, the daughter of the owners of the place.

Jensen with one of his sculptures.

One afternoon we heard the sound of drums coming down the normally quiet side street. A whole village was in procession, taking their offerings to the temple.

Chilling Out

2009-07-29T21:16:00.002+07:00

From the volcano, we headed to the beach. We found the perfect place at Lumbung Damuh and loved every minute of it! The bungalow was charming and large enough for us to all spread out and the ocean breeze was constantly blowing over us. The beach had black sand and lots of rocks but that didn't deter our boys at all from jumping in and trying new things.

They built together when they got tired of being in the water.

And, for once in his life, Riley could throw stones to his hearts content!

We had one glorious week here. While each place we visited was so amazing, this topped it all.

Coming Down

2009-07-29T21:03:00.002+07:00

The crater itself was impressive, yet rather like a crater! I guess I expected there to be this huge gaping hole with a bottomless pit and lots of steam. There was steam coming out in places, little holes here and there around the mountain. But overall it seemed pretty calm. Thankfully!

By this time Riley was very glad he had come along. He wasn't too sure when we woke him so early in the morning!

We were served breakfast of steamed bananas on bread and hard boiled eggs which had been steamed as well. As soon as the food was served, the monkeys appeared.

Oh yeah, our shoes were soon full of black sand. The boys had fun picking up lava rocks and deciding which were worth keeping.

By the end of the morning, this guide had completely won Riley's heart! And I think it may have worked the other way as well.

Climbing Mt. Batur

2009-07-29T20:44:00.002+07:00

We were all very excited about our hike up the volcano. We hit the sack early and got up at 3 a.m. for our ride to the base. We started climbing around 4 a.m., under a full moon.

It was cold and we had to pull a couple of the boys along but it was so beautiful. A couple of the guides helped carry Riley and Pruitt part of the way. It was a good hour and a half climb up and we got to the summit just before the light started to break in over the horizon.

As the sun lazily worked it's way up we could make out the lake and another volcano and, beyond that, the ocean and Lombok Island. I experienced some of the most stunning moments of my life, sitting up there, watching the beauty unfold, shivering in the cold and hugging my cup of hot bali coffee.

Moving On

2009-07-29T16:35:00.002+07:00

From Ubud we travelled to Lake Batur area, with the goal of climbing Mt. Batur. On the way there we stopped for a "rest" at the home of the tour guide. I have never seen such a mind blowing collection of plants - 7 foot high poinsettas, orange trees, hydrangeas, roses, marigolds...

cocoa pods hanging from a cocoa tree...

Coffee berries (my first ever glimpse of a coffee tree!) not to mention guavas, passion fruit and a whole host of other plants that I don't know the name for.

Our boys were soon playing soccer with the sons of our tour guide while his wife made banana fritters and fresh coffee (from their own trees) for us. Need I tell you that it was marvelous?

I think the boys would have been happy just to stay there but we soon headed down the road to our next hotel, which gave us a great view of the volcano we were soon going to climb.

Even More of Ubud

2009-07-29T16:20:00.003+07:00

I try to imagine living off a road like this! The boys and I ventured back this way on a walk one afternoon.

This is actually a tree, not a bush. One of the many exotic breathtaking sights.

Our walk brought us out into the open air and rice fields. We met a few other people walking and a few motorcycles, but for the most part it was very quiet, except for the boys, of course, who were running ahead and finding sticks.

The boys loved this big field near the center of town. When they weren't playing tag or running around, they were gathering grasses to weave baskets. I mean, hey, if everywhere you go you see people making little baskets, how hard can it be?

When they weren't off on an adventure, their parents would drag them into some shops. LOL. They were pretty good sports and I think we got in a fair amount of both adventures and shopping, with some ice cream and fanta thrown in on the side.

More of Ubud

2009-07-29T16:09:00.002+07:00

The boys packed a few books and toys to take along, but I've learned from past experience that it really doesn't take much in a new place to keep them occupied. They have vivid imaginations and take them wherever they go.

Austin took some work days in Bali and visited Mitra Bali, a fair trade organization we found online before our trip, and he thoroughly enjoyed that.

The boys found odd bits of bamboo and reeds to turn into swords on their "exploring" walks.

There was never a dull moment and they slept really well at night. Okay, I think they're faking it here though!

Monkey Forest

2009-07-29T15:51:00.002+07:00

Just south of Ubud center is a monkey forest, a home to many rather aggressive monkeys. We paid our entrance fees and purchased some bananas to share with the monkeys on our walk through.

It was lovely to be in a forest again. We found all kinds of places to stop and pose for photos.

This monkey is rather calm compared to most of the others. One big old fellow jumped up on Austin's leg and snarled at him until he threw down some bananas. We saw a couple of people walking around with a monkey on their head, trying to remain calm. I made Austin carry the bananas and tried to walk calmly, looking as boring as possible.

As we were walking around, one of the boys made a comment about feeling like Indiana Jones. Riley found some vines before we left and tried to swing. He didn't get very far but he had fun trying.

Temples, Old and New

2009-07-29T15:44:00.002+07:00

I don't have much to say after the last entry, but wanted to post a few more pics.

We visited the Monkey Forest one day and some of these shots come from there.

Offerings

2009-07-29T14:30:00.002+07:00

Though most of Indonesia is Muslim, Bali is a Hindu Island. The number of temples and offerings was astounding. Each village had it's own temple and each household also seemed to have a temple, some larger than others.

The sculpturing and architecture was amazing.

Flowers play a huge role in the prayers and offerings of the Balinese. Everywhere we looked there were flowers. Flowers growing, flowers being offered, flowers used in decoration.

These little baskets were everywhere - at the temples and on the sidewalks, in front of statues and seemingly in the middle of nowhere. The women at the place we were staying would spend hours and hours making these little baskets. In fact, the one woman seemed to do nothing but that all day long. It gave me a lot to think about. On one hand, I am so deeply grateful that my faith allows me to come to God as I am, anytime, anywhere, without needing to prepare an offering of any sort. Yet the sheer beauty in the ritual of baskets of flowers being daily offered back to the One who created them touched something in my soul. My thoughts wondered one day as I sat on the porch, letting my eyes feast on the beauty all around me. A beautiful sacrifice was made for me long ago, so I would not need to perform sacrifices. By embracing this tradition of faith and grace, have we become prone to loose the beauty, the physical tangible beauty of offering what we have back to our Creator? I confess that, for me, the thought of sacrifice usually brings to mind tears and giving up of something that I really want, something painful rather than something beautiful. My mind wondered on and I was reminded of the Scriptures that tell us that our bodies are temples (which was pretty impressive after seeing the beauty that is carved into each Balinese temple) and that our prayers are like incense (again pretty impressive after spending the day stepping over little baskets of flowers topped with a stick of smoking incense on the sidewalks). I was challenged in a new way that my life itself is an offering, a beautiful living breathing fragrance when lived out of a soul that is reflecting the smile on the face of God. Some days it's hard to believe that the mess of my life could ever be as beautiful as all those offerings of flowers and fruit that I saw in Bali but then I hear His words, whispered in my soul and I am speechless.

Bali or Bust

2009-07-29T14:13:00.002+07:00

We first flew to Kuala Lumpur and spent the night there. Our flight out from there wasn't till the next afternoon, so after we checked out of our hotel in the morning, we camped out at the airport. The boys were thrilled to see McDonalds so we ate breakfast there and played some games for a few hours. Then we walked down to a Malaysian style food court and played some more games and had some amazing fried rice for lunch before going through the check in process for our last flight.

The sun set just before we landed in Denpasar, Bali. Arrival was a breeze and we were soon at our hotel. We spent a day there before heading to Ubud, a delightful artsy town. Try imagining a tropical Ashville, though much much smaller. Despite the fact that there seemed to be about as many tourists as Indonesians, we had a wonderful time there.

We stayed at Gusti's Garden Bungalows, a little walk out of town but in a great quiet area, surrounded by lush green trees and a short walk from the rice fields. This is the view from our porch and we spent a good deal of time sitting out there, reading and drinking coffee.

Here we are, looking down from our porch.

More to come...

We're Back

2009-07-27T11:53:00.002+07:00

To say that we had a fabulous vacation in Bali would be an understatement. Words are not enough to say how amazing it was. I have tons of pics I hope to post eventually and stories to tell, but for now I will leave you with a glimpse of the past several weeks.

Everywhere we went there were flowers and offerings.

Green, green and more green...

Colorful sarongs and exotic fruits.

It's been rather hard to come back to a concrete jungle, to leave the sound of the ocean behind, the green and the flowers, the pleasant solitude. Yet, beauty of another sort is breaking its way into my soul as I listen to the happy laughter of my sons as they rediscover their toys and act out the most hilarious things. I find myself more thankful than ever to have them in my life.

More to come...

Summer Highlights (so far)

2009-06-29T11:54:00.003+07:00

The days have been flying by, since the boys are off of school. We had a number of family celebrations and the boys have been able to spend more time with their Grandparents and uncle, which they have enjoyed a lot.

Pruitt took a 3 day trip to Mymensingh with his Dad and had a great time. He rode around on a motorcycle, hung out with the staff there, drank lots of tea and ate one of his favorite Bengali dishes, fish. He came home glowing with excitement!

Riley has enjoyed having more time to play with his brothers. It's true that he has learned to read, but I don't think he was actually reading the book here. He tends to go go go until he crashes.

Jensen also took a trip to Mymensingh with his Dad. He enjoyed going to a party and doing work on the computer but his highlight was holding the baby of one of our producers at Sacred Mark.

And we've managed to take some time to hang out at the club. It's been great to watch the boys grow in their swimming abilities. Even Riley has now discarded his floaters and just the other day started doing flips under water. The water has felt extra good to them during the extreme heat of late. I've heard the heat is a 10 year record high for this time of year and the monsoon has been late in starting. We've had some good downpours just lately now so I think it is finally here.

Final School Daze, continued

2009-06-15T10:58:00.002+06:00

We enjoyed Riley's musical as well. Here he and some classmates were dressed in lungis and sang a song about rickshaws.

Riley has really thrived this year. The sparkle in his eyes has seemed to sparkle all the more on days when he has been with his friends.

Here he is with his teacher and a couple of classmates.

And now school is officially over for the year and the boys are enjoying some relaxing days. Pruitt is currently on a trip to Mymensingh with his dad and it sounds like he is having a great time. The other two are enjoying each other too much at times, as they both know exactly how to push the other's buttons and each one quite enjoys it.

Final School Daze

2009-06-15T09:05:00.002+06:00

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of activity for the boys and I, as school was winding down for the year. Swimming galas, parties, programs, etc. made for a busy but very fun and memorable way to end a very good year of school. Jensen's class was studying the Victorian era and had a dress up day where they were supposed to be someone from that era. Jensen had been reading about a Liberian Prince, Kaboo, also known as Samuel Morris who, though he lived in that era, was not your typical Victorian. Still, Jensen was so amazed by his life and the way God rescued him from certain death that he decided to be Kaboo for a day and played the part from his heart.

We thoroughly enjoyed attending the celebration evening for years 1 -5. They sang some songs and each child was honored for something unique about him/her. In some schools it's all about academics and grades but I feel privileged to have my children in a school that is concerned about both academics and character. I got teary eyed more than once during the evening!

It's hard to believe the year is over already. It was a stretching time for all of us in a very good way.

Oops, It Broke!

2009-05-28T11:47:00.002+06:00

So far, it's been a pretty crazy week. Pruitt started with Pink Eye, which he must have picked up from Riley, so he was home from school a day and is still on drops. Jensen came home with a migraine one day and a fever the next. Riley has had this strange blister on his leg - reaction to an ant bite? spider bite? or something from the sewer? I don't know but I put tea tree oil on it for several days and it seems to be healing. I love that stuff! Anyway, though they are all still coughing, they seem to be on the mend.

Otherwise, there seems to be a lot of drama going on. Austin was on his way home from Mymensingh last night when we had a couple of things fall apart here. The boys were having a bath and the handle for the faucet broke completely off and there was no way we could turn the water off. I called the office secretary - bless her! and she sent the plumber over. In the meantime, I watched water pouring down the drain and could hardly stand it, especially given the fact that so many have had water shortages here. So I called down to the guard to see if he could turn the water off on the roof. He said it wasn't possible but he was going to change out of his guard boots and see what he could do. By the time he got back, the plumber was here. He had to climb up into the crawl space above the bathroom to turn it off. The plan is to come back this morning and put a new faucet on. By this time it was well past the boys' bedtime. Jensen kept the others entertained by reading to them while I did the last chore before bedtime - hanging out the laundry, which hadn't all been done during the day since I was out most of the day and there was more than usual due to boys being sick and things you don't want to know. But instead of being wrung out nicely, things were dripping. Upon further investigation, I discovered the spin cycle is no longer working on the machine. Sigh. So I squeezed things out by hand and hung them up to dry. By then Austin was home - and was I ever glad to see him! I had felt completely exhausted before all this , so you can imagine how I felt by the end of it all.

It feels as if we are going through a particularly intense time. Still, I feel hope in my soul. Things do not happen without a reason. I may have hunches and feelings about what it all means, but mostly it boils down to knowing that my Heavenly Father is with me and, therefore, it's going to be okay.

The Day Riley Fell Into the Sewer

2009-05-24T11:12:00.002+06:00

The boys had off school an extra day this past weekend so we thought it would be a great time to take them to Mymensingh. They haven't been able to spend that much time there since we moved to Dhaka and were very excited about going and visiting all their old favorite spots. So Thursday morning we were out the door by 5:30 a.m. to catch the bus. We got there in time for Jensen's favorite breakfast - baji (fried vegetables), eggs and chapatis, followed by a cup of cha. It was a work day for Austin so I hung out with the boys. They had a blast on the rooftop of the office, pretending to be Indiana Jones. They found bits of bamboo, and old bicycle tire and other odds and ends and had all the equipment they needed. When it got too hot outside, we went inside and played some games. Riley took a motorcycle ride with his Dad and another designer to a nearby project, which made him very happy! The morning passed quickly and we were fed a delicious lunch of rice, lentils, chicken and lots of veggies. We spent the afternoon visiting a couple of projects. While the women sat outside in the courtyard at Sacred Mark and worked on stirring up a small batch of soap and getting fibers ready for packaging (above), the boys played soccer with a beach ball and provided live entertainment.

They were so happy to be outside and run on a small patch of grass and be barefoot! So when it was time to go, they lined up to have their feet washed at the outside faucet.

Riley wasn't convinced that his feet needed to be washed or that anyone should help him do it. I was humbled by the fact that this woman was so willing to wash the dirt off my sons' feet. I simply told them it was time to go and to wash up but she ran over and helped each one of them. In a culture where feet are a "dirty" part of the body and there is a special ritual you go through if you accidentally touch some one's feet and to really shame someone you show them the bottom of your foot etc., it's humbling to have someone wash your feet. Another interesting aspect of feet here is to show respect to elders and to invoke a blessing of another, you stoop down and touch their feet. Living here has helped me understand Peter's horror at having his beloved Teacher stoop down to wash his feet (as told in the Injil Sharif) and the impact of that event, that we are now to wash each other's feet. It makes me want to write another blog about abolishing status and the need to serve those around us instead of expecting them to serve me because of who I am. No, as the Greatest Teacher said, the one who wants to be the greatest needs to be the servant of all. I will leave it at that, for now.

From there we went to the Training Center and had a fun time interacting with a group of women, singing songs, playing with a chubby little baby. The boys were a little shy at first, maybe because they were in front of a room full of women, maybe because the baby didn't have a diaper on but they soon gathered around him and were talking to him. They were grossed out by the fact that he was drooling and slobbering and were amazed when I told them that they had each done the same thing when they were little! All too soon it was time to go. We said our good byes and went down to the vehicle. Riley, being the independent fellow that he is, did not listen to the instructions his father was giving him and ended up falling into an open sewer. We were so thankful it wasn't deep - he only went in up to his waist, if that. His Dad grabbed him out and held him in the air a moment as we recovered from the shock. Poor kid, hanging there, dripping black goo, the hole gurgling a bit as if it was recovering too. We realized his sandals had been sucked off but were just happy to have our boys back, dripping though he was. So I took him upstairs again, dripping black goo the whole way. At the top, one of the women took him from me and hurried into the bathroom to start washing it off. It was a bit frightening for him, to be surrounded by strangers while I went to ask Austin for a bag to put the dirty clothes in. The women wanted to help and scrubbed him down and another one was washing out his clothes, still another one was reaching into the sewer to try to find the lost sandals. We told them its okay, we'll just buy another pair, but they kept trying. She reached in nearly to her armpit and eventually found both of them. Meanwhile Riley was cleaned and wrapped in a towel and given back to me. He wasn't hurt, just shook up a bit and sad that his sandals were missing so he was quite happy to hear they had been found. Back at our "old house" I rubbed disinfectant over his legs and feet and gave him a hot shower and soaked his sandals overnight in disinfectant, just to be sure.

Here is a closer look at the hole he fell into.

I've been thinking about this - that there are some of us who are too proud and independent to accept help from others. Then there are some of us who are too proud and expect people to serve us. I think both are wrong and are as offensive to our Creator as the black goo pictured above. We were meant to be in community, to be willing to put our hands in black goo for each other, not to triumph over another or be better than another.

A lot more happened over the weekend, a lot of things to humble me and make me aware of how much I have... but this concludes the adventures of the day Riley fell into the sewer.

Chop

2009-05-17T10:52:00.004+06:00

It's been an intense week.

Jensen caught the virus that has been going around school and was down over the weekend. Then Pruitt got hit hard by it and spent a couple of days in bed with a fever of over 102. He ended up missing a whole week of school. Austin had off work on Sunday, since it was a Buddhist holiday, which was extra special because it was also Mother's Day. He made breakfast at 6 a.m. and had his family over too, so we could eat together before the boys got on the bus ( it ended up being only Riley then, since the others were sick). Then Austin spent the next several days in Mymensingh. I was very thankful for family near by and a father-in-law who was willing to buy a ton of juice for my sick boy and deliver it to my door! In the middle of it all, we had a repair guy here to fix the screen door that Riley broke in his efforts to escape being caught by one of his brothers. Austin got back in time to stay with Pruitt while I took Jensen to the dentist to have a tooth pulled, which he was quite brave about. When I dropped him off at school, the kids were all talking at once, wondering how it went. They thought it was quite cool that he had to have a tooth pulled and he was a bit of a hero.

Needless to say, we were all quite ready for the weekend! We spent time with friends, relaxed and finally got that date in that we had canceled twice the weekend before. I also took some ladies shopping, bought some lovely clothes that don't fit, sat in stifling noisy traffic and felt like I was becoming a human chop. Chop is the Bangla word meaning pressure. To chopan is to squeeze together, like on a bus so that you can get more people on. An aloo chop is a potato patty, the potato has been mashed and fried (often with yummy spices inside). A meat chop is made of meat that has been ground and pounded and mashed with spices and then fried. So if I say that by the end of the week I was feeling like a human chop, I think you will have a picture of what I felt like. Those were my thoughts as I sat in traffic and heard the noise all around me and had hands reaching out to receive from me and I was hot and tired and had a splitting headache. I came home and took a little nap before my guys all came home from their morning outing. As I was taking lunch to the table, I dropped it and it splattered all over the floor and the cupboard. That truly was the last straw. Now I can chuckle about it, but it sure wasn't funny at the moment. So I stood there and cried before picking up the pieces. I am so thankful for a husband that doesn't yell at me and that is full of grace in moments like that. My youngest was a little taken aback when he saw his mother burst into tears and he gave me lots of hugs. Even now I'm laughing and crying at the same time. Being under chop can do strange things to a person. In spite of it all, "hope stands in defiance" to borrow the words of Sara Groves. I've lived long enough to know that when things are extra hard and it feels like everything is going wrong, it is a signal that somewhere, either in my life or in the lives of others that I care very much about, something good, something truly amazing is going on. Life is never all bad. Even though I can't see it at the moment, I've been given precious glimpses of a larger picture. And that picture is beautiful and it has given me hope.

A New Life

2009-05-10T10:36:00.002+06:00

I recently had the privilege of taking a day trip to Mymensingh. We hit the road soon after putting the boys on the bus for school and got there in time to stop in at the hospital to see a precious baby girl that was born to one of the producers. We wondered down many corridors, passed probably a thousand people and finally found the mother. Several days after a C-section, she was now on the floor with only a thin mat to lay on. She was quite happy to see us and we chatted a while. The baby had been taken to another floor to be put on an IV, so eventually the Grandmother took us to see her. We finally found her in a room crowded with regular sized beds, 3 infants to a bed on rather grimy mattresses, each hooked up to an IV. Parents or other caregivers and onlookers were everywhere. And when we came, even more people gathered around to see what we were there for. She was tiny - just a bit over 3 lbs. - but gorgeous. The room was sweltering and the fans were off and all the infants seemed to be blanketed. I found myself hoping that she will soon be well enough to stay with her mother.

From there we went on to the training center, where a group of 10 precious women were having a New Life celebration to mark leaving a life of shame, that they had not chosen, to be given a fresh chance at life and dignity again. Each one was presented a garland of flowers and given a rose. There were many speeches from staff and others to encourage them and some from the women as well, sharing their stories with us. It was touching, to say the least. They put on a drama for us, in which the main character acted out her story. She often broke down as she relived her pain and I was amazed at the depth of her courage and strength.

We all sang "Happy Birthday" for them and they cut their cake to further signify the birth of something new.

Words from Sara Grove's song, "I Saw What I Saw" go through my mind often when I think of these women -

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it. I heard what I heard and I can't go back. I know what I know and I can't deny it. Something on the road, cut me to the soul. Your pain has changed me, your dream inspires, your face a memory, your hope a fire, your courage asks me what I'm afraid of and what I know of love...and what I know of God.

What more can I say. Their stories, their faces, their hopes, the dignity they are finding... these things are beautiful to me and I am privileged to be a tiny part of their lives.

Smelling Rain - Or Not

2009-04-30T11:29:00.002+06:00

Last night Jensen stuck his nose to the window, as I was tucking the boys into bed, and said, "I smell rain. Actually, it smells more like chicken nuggets." It still makes me chuckle! We are still longing for that thunder storm to cool things down!

The days have been flying by. We enjoyed the party at Prokritee one morning, to celebrate Bengali New Year. We dressed up, ate lots of sweets and took photos. I am blessed to work with some really great people.

Austin spent a couple of days in Mymensingh and it went pretty smoothly here. The boys handled things pretty well, maybe because I was handling things pretty well. Last night we watched a cowboy movie together so they went to bed dreaming of some day living on a ranch and riding horses and rounding up cattle, after which they would chase chickens. That was Pruitt's idea. I have no idea where it came from but they were pretty thrilled about the idea.

Riley's touch on my week was telling me, "Mommy, I love you more than all the popcorn and cotton candy in the world."

My days have been pretty full with food prep. It seems there is a certain bottomless freezer in the neighborhood - not that I'm complaining. It's been fun to try and fill it up, it's just not happened as fast as I would like.

Well, it's almost officially the weekend here and I'm looking forward to chilling out - in the heat of course, with the smell of chicken nuggets in the air.

Thriving In the Heat

2009-04-25T10:06:00.001+06:00

We are in the middle of the hottest part of the hot season. While I feel like I'm wilting and having a constant battle with grumpiness, some things seem to be thriving, especially certain flowering bushes and trees. How they do it, I don't know. I wish I could be more like them.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a swirling stream, where things are constantly changing and leaving, flowing on, yet here I stay. I'm about to say "good bye" to some good friends and I am very unhappy about that. I feel forgotten by so many old friends, like my past is just that, "the past". I'm constantly seeing a stream of new faces. Life changes so fast. I should be used to it by now, given the fact that I have lived all over and moved more times than I can easily remember. But I'm not. Change is still hard for me. And while I have felt a shift in my soul, a "settling in" you could say, I am sometimes struck by random longings - to look through the Sunday papers and clip coupons, to call up a friend and go out for coffee, to go out to the garden and dig around, to go put gas in the car and drive for hours down the highway, to pop a handful of fresh blueberries into my mouth... but here I am. Yet, "here" is a good place too and I remind myself that in every place I have been I have known both happiness and loneliness. The biggest issue is not where I am or who I'm with, It's who I am and Who my heart belongs to. If my soul is at rest, I can make it through this heat, through more changes. I may not have fresh blueberries but soon I will have fresh mangoes. I may not have coupons, but who needs them when you can bargain at the local markets. And while my heart aches and misses my old friends and family and that place of belonging, I know that there is no easy solution to that ache. But I have seen enough by now to know that aches are a part of life, no matter where I am. Am I repeating myself here? Sometimes talking to myself helps me feel better. Smile.

A song that Sara Groves sings is running through my head -

I've been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked, the future looks so hard and I want to go back, but the places that used to fit me, cannot hold the things I've learned. Those roads were closed off to me, while my back was turned...

So here I am. I have no idea what the future holds, how long we will be able to be here or what will happen after that... but I have no doubt that we are in the right place for now and I am counting my blessings. And right now 4 of them are sitting in the next room, working together on Lego and they will soon be hungry... so off I go.

Party Time

2009-04-21T14:26:00.002+06:00

It's hard to believe it's been 8 years since Akash (Bangla for sky) joined our family. We had a lot of fun celebrating his birthday yesterday.

He was awake before 6a.m, full of excitement! So we started the day out by opening presents from Grandma, brought over by recent visitors. To say he was pleased would be an understatement!

We took some cupcakes in for his class in the afternoon and then ended the day with a party here with Grandpa Millers and take-out burgers and an ice cream cake - and, of course, more presents! As I tucked a very happy boy into bed last night, I again thanked God for the amazing privilege of mothering these boys.

Going Bananas

2009-04-14T11:09:00.002+06:00

Another crazy thing we did while our visitors were here, was take a trip to Old Dhaka. We took a boat ride on the river first thing and saw boatloads of fruit coming in.

It's impossible to put all the sights and sounds into words... tiny narrow streets, crowded with people in brightly colored saris and punjabis, the smell of incense and sweat mingled with sights of Hindu gods and silver shops on Hindu street...

... being crowded into a rickshaw and literally sticking together in the heat, yet the relief from the sun but not necessarily from the stares...

... beautiful Star Mosque, which was closed, the hand of an artist rising among the rubble of ancient buildings that are crumbling from years of heat and monsoons...

... but most of all, the intense heat. Forget about being hungry, just give me something cold to drink! We finally found a little shop that had cold drinks and we very happy! We were still nuts enough to do some shopping in Bongo Bazaar, a market even more crowded and narrow and hot than Old Dhaka's streets. The power was off and the boys grumpy so we didn't last long. We made our way close to home, found a pizza shop and cooled off!

All too soon it was time for our visitors to leave. It was a very sad and quiet ride home from the airport, yet we were all so thankful for the gift of this visit. We felt encouraged and refreshed and carry with us a treasure full of happy memories!

Heading Home

2009-04-14T10:47:00.002+06:00

All too quickly, it was time to head home. The trip down the mountain was lovely, passing through tea gardens and many little towns along the way. We stopped for a tea break and ordered a plate of momos, only to find a cockroach steamed into the dough of one of them. Needless to say, that took away my appetite. We stayed at a hotel in Siliguri for the night, to break up the trip back a bit more. The next morning we hired a jeep to take us to the border, in hopes of finding room on a bus to take us the rest of the way. We crossed the border with relative ease, stopping at only 5 different little check posts. We then discovered that the buses would not leave until evening. So we hired a micro (minivan of sorts) to take us to the next big town where we could get a direct bus back to Dhaka. Because of the small size of the vehicle, our driver was able to by pass the bridge that was out and thus save us a couple of hours. We pulled into the Rangpur bus stop and immediately were surrounded by beggars and bus-ticket-sellers. By this time it was mid-afternoon and we hadn't eaten lunch yet. Another crazy set of events transpired, including needing to desperately bargain for seats since we were running out of local currency and there was no place to change over more. In the end, kindness was shown and Austin spent his last takas on bread and bananas for lunch, just as the bus was ready to pull out. We were very happy to get home about 10:30p.m.! The only downer was finding that acid from one of Austin's batik supplies, had leaked all over the studio floor, where we had our bedding. It was quite late till we got it cleaned up but, still, it was good to be home.

Here are some scenes from the road, on various trips we took.

Highlights

2009-04-14T10:29:00.003+06:00

The boys were absolutely thrilled to get pony rides!

Despite the hassle of getting there, we had a great time in Darjeeling. The best highlight was seeing my brother married and so happy! It was so good to get to know my sister-in-law too. I am very blessed to have them both in my life.

Another hightlight was staying at the Dekeling Hotel. We had stayed there years ago when Jensen was a baby and the Tibetan couple who runs it remembered us and are as charming today as they were 9 years ago!

Riley's highlight was the dog, Dooma, who he showered with love and affection every time she came around!

More of Darjeeling

2009-04-14T10:20:00.002+06:00

It was foggy most of the time we were in Darjeeling, but once morning we were blessed with clear skies and a view of the Kanchenjunga range. It was breathtaking!

We took a walk around town and spotted some ornery monkeys. Later we walked to the zoo and the boys were really excited about seeing this snow leopard.

We stopped at the Hot Stimulating Cafe on our way back, for a cup of tea. Riley couldn't hold still so went outside and found something to do while waiting.

There is nothing like a cup of good hot tea on a cold day! Something which Darjeeling has lots of - both tea and cold days!

Darjeeling

2009-04-14T09:43:00.002+06:00

The night after our visitors arrived, we did a crazy thing. We took an overnight bus to India. It took a couple of hours to get out of the city and then the AC stopped working and everyone was yelling at the driver, literally. So we stopped and they messed around and got it going again. Then at about 5:15a.m., we stopped again. I thought maybe we were at the border but, instead, were at a bridge that was under construction and would be closed until 7:30 a.m. Soon the boys were awake and getting antsy so we got off the bus awhile and they ran around and rather put on a show for the hundreds of other people that were there waiting. Lets just say that the line of buses and trucks was rather long. 2 and a half hours later, we were on our way once more. We finally got to the border, had breakfast of eggs and chapati and eventually made our way out of Bangladesh and crossed over into India. It was noon till we were on our way again. When we finally arrived at Siliguri, the last stop where we were to get a jeep up the mountain, we were very weary. Austin tried in vain to book our return tickets (which the bus people in Dhaka said they could not do, that we would have to do it once we reached the Indian side) but by the time he was waited on ( everyone else had been pushing the tickets and passports in ahead of everyone else) there were not enough seats left. To make a long story short, we finally booked a jeep and just left and decided to "wing it" ourselves on the way back. We had a 3 hour ride up the mountains and by the time we got to our hotel in Darjeeling, it was dark, cold and raining. It was also exactly 24 hours since we had left our house in Dhaka to begin the long journey. Needless to say, we slept very good that night, under mounds of thick blankets. After coming from the heat of the plains, it was a shock to feel so very cold. The first thing we did, after breakfast the next morning was to buy everyone a sweater or shawl.

We enjoyed a ride on the toy train and had some nice views of the city and surrounding areas. The boys were facinated by the steam engine.

We stopped for tea at a little shop at the turn-around point and made friends with the little girl there.

Treats

2009-04-14T08:51:00.002+06:00

It was like Christmas, all over again, when my brother and wife arrived. Believe me, as happy as we were for the stuff they brought, we were over-the-moon happy to have them visit us!

The boys were very happy to hear from their cousins and have been delving into many special treats that we forgot even existed! More to come...

A Taste of Home

2009-03-22T12:49:00.003+06:00

Believe it or not, it's strawberry season here in Bangladesh. While these berries are a relatively new thing here, they are being grown and sold in a few places - for quite a high price, I might add! But one bite of strawberry pie convinced us that it was well worth the splurge!

Another Week

2009-03-14T10:32:00.002+06:00

What a week it has been! Austin left bright and early Sunday morning (our weekends are Friday and Saturday here) to a rural area in the north where he put on a batik training for one of our partner organizations. So the boys and I were on our own for nearly 4 days. We had our moments, but, as a whole, it went well. Little Mr. Sunshine kept coming up with funny things to say and do, which helped. We were looking at a book one day about the supermarket and I was asking him what different things were. When we got to the eggs, he was a little confused. A few of the more modern stores here have begun to sell eggs in cartons, but most people buy them at little shops and carry them home in paper bags and wash them as they are pretty much fresh from the chickens! So he probably hasn't seen an egg carton for a while. There was a picture of a chicken on top of the display though, so I didn't think it would be too hard for him. He looked at it a little and then replied, "chicken milk." I had a hard time keeping a straight face, to say the least!

Austin was back in time to take Riley to watch his brothers participate in sports day, where they ran races and did all kinds of games and relays. They came home after a picnic lunch, completely exhausted and quite happy for a quiet afternoon at home. They spent hours sorting and building with lego and I enjoyed having my family all home again.

Friday was a special day for us as we had both Jensen and Pruitt's teachers over for lunch. We spent a nice long afternoon chatting with them and are so grateful, again, for such wonderful teachers for our boys. The boys are all thriving in their learning environment, which is also filled with fun and friends for them. Jensen has been given the opportunity lately to learn first hand what conflict resolution is all about. After several afternoons of him coming home really upset about someone he was working with, I was quite tickled to hear him tell me, with much enthusiasm in his voice, how they had found a solution that made them both happy.

We spent Friday evening with some friends and met some more "bideshis" (foreigners) who live in the area. It was great to kick back, eat someone else's cooking and get to know others better. While we were chatting, we heard that Bashundara City, Dhaka's largest shopping mall, was on fire. It was the city's only building with a full-fledged integrated fire fighting system, yet the system and all the back-ups failed. Even the water reservoir for the building was empty. 7 people have died and more injured. We came home and looked on line for news updates and read that there were 20,000 people outside of the building, watching. Only in Bangladesh! I saw a photo in this morning's paper as well, of the road in front of the building looking completely blocked with people. Meanwhile, 6 floors were gutted by the fire and it took over 8 hours to get it under control. So so sad.

And now it is a quiet Saturday morning. I have my house back in order, the weekend's dust mopped up (for a few hours at least) and the guys are all off to another sports event. It looks like this coming week will be a little more normal than last - but you never know!

Walking in the Shoes of Another

2009-03-08T10:17:00.003+06:00

"Some people have to live like this, all the time," I thought to myself the day when Riley was coming home alone on the bus and there was fighting going on. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, how sometimes we experience something difficult for a period of time, yet others may face that sort of thing their entire life. After recent events here, I could have a little more empathy for mothers in both the Gaza Strip and Israel and the fear they live with all the time.

We hear stories and we are moved, but for how long? And to what end? We may care about people on the other side of the world, but because their lives are so different from ours, our concern may never turn into action. But I've been thinking about that. It's true that if you go to a place and share experiences with any given people, that you will change and you will likely be moved to bring hope in whatever way you can. But not everyone can go and physically experience life in it's joys and tragedies with others. Yet, I wonder, could there be more to the experiences of our own lives, reasons beyond what we normally think of.What if, somewhere, someone has lived with this pain their entire life and has no resources to ever get out of it? Many of us have been told that one reason we experience hard times is so we can better empathise with others. Now that has never made my hard times any easier to bear! But usually, if I keep my heart open, and vulnerable I might add, the pain comes back to me in another person's story and I am moved to compassion. Compassion, according to Wikipedia, is a profound human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate an other's suffering.

So what do we do with that active desire? For instance, if you have endured abuse or lived well below the poverty line, you will likely be deeply moved by Slumdog Millionare. If you lost a parent when you were young, your heart will break more than mine for the orphans at the train station. The list could go on, but my point is, we feel that active desire, but how often do we help it to stay active. There is a whole world full of need, I don't know where to start, I'll just live my life, thank you very much.

Yet, where you are, you can live out compassion that will go beyond the borders of your land. Being aware of your own pain is a start. If you have no energy to "go out and make a difference" let the stories find you. And when a story finds you, walk with it awhile, listen. Perhaps it came to you because you would be able to understand it in a way that no one else could. Our suffering is only lost when we choose to let it be. I so much want my suffering to be a gain for me, but not just me. I want it to enable me to walk in the shoes of others, to actively make a difference for them too. I think sometimes, we are overwhelmed by the bigness of it, that we do nothing at all. Yet, every big and good change in the world has begun by a teeny tiny step and a generous heart.

Okay, you may be wondering why I posted the photo I did. Years ago, when I was here as a single and had grown very tired of all the stares and hassle I received as a woman, I decided to wear a burkha. Walking in the steps of another, with a dark veil over my eyes, was an eye-opening experience. For one thing, I could tell people were looking at my hands, trying to figure out who I really was, so it didn't give me the freedom I'd hoped it would. I still couldn't hide who I really was but that and many other experiences have helped me understand what life is like for women here. But to keep going on that line of thought, I would need to write a book! So I just want to leave you with the challenge to make a teeny step today.

Going On...

2009-03-02T11:22:00.002+06:00

The nation has suffered a devastating blow. Though for many of us life has returned to normal, we are surrounded by an eerie quiet, a sadness that threatens to topple the bridge we are standing on. I've been reading the paper and various blogs written by "ordinary citizens" and I have heard a lot of questions, a lot of reasons and yet everyone seems to agree that no reason could justify the brutality of the murders. The death toll is at 74, with at least 60 of them being officers. My heart breaks for the families who have lost loved ones and pray to the Almighty that they will find consolation and strength to go on.

Oh, Bangladesh. You have been beaten down again and again. You have suffered one bloodbath after another. Disasters have been around every corner. You are hungry, thirsty and tired, so tired. Yet, you do not give up. Your resilience and hope for a better tomorrow inspire me. While the injustice and poverty break my heart, and your needs overwhelm me, you have become a friend to me. It is in you that I have seen that those who have nothing can actually have everything that really matters. While the rest of the world may forget you, you will never truly be forgotten. The Almighty sees your pain. My heart cannot hold it but His can.

Mutiny in Bangladesh

2009-02-26T13:25:00.002+06:00

For some people here, life is going on as usual: for others, it has become a nightmare. I had no idea trouble was brewing until yesterday noon when I received a call from Riley's school, wondering if I had heard there was fighting going on and they were not sure if they should send the bus. In the end, he did come on the bus but it was a strange feeling for me to have my child "out there" even though we didn't really expect trouble on the roads they would be taking. We then heard that a 3 p.m. curfew was going to be in effect for the city (though I still have not seen that confirmed in the news). Our office shut down early so people could get home. So no sooner was Riley home safe and sound when we started to think about the others. In the end, they canceled school early and made it home without a problem. The children didn't really know what was going on, except that there was some fighting. It was almost humorous to hear little boy ideas as to what that meant, such as rocks being thrown. Yet it was so not funny to tell them it was much worse than that, that soldiers were fighting each other with guns and people were dying because they were tired of the way they were treated. Pruitt told me his heart had been beating really fast so I held him and we talked some more about what was going on. The rest of the day passed quietly - seriously, Dhaka is rarely this quiet - except for the area where the fighting is going on. To give you an idea, it's about a 15 - 20 minute rickshaw ride away, just around the corner from our favorite Bengali restaurant and beside the shopping center where we like to buy dvds. But from here we can't hear a thing.

Just in case things were going to be cancelled for today, Austin went to the market really quick and got paint to paint the boys' room and tomatoes for me to can. So I started canning some of them yet yesterday afternoon, and baked some bread as well. In the middle of all this, the neighbors came to the door and wanted to see how we had painted the other rooms and what set up we have here. So I showed them around and had to chuckle to myself at things that would have really offended me at one time but I've been here long enough that it makes me want to LOL instead. Like the grandma, looking into a dark empty room and telling us all that the fan had been left on. Like being asked how much this and that cost. Like how our big open space, which I love, is wasted space. Meanwhile my kitchen was overflowing with tomatoes and bread and the boys were starving for dinner which I had basically not even started. But I embraced the opportunity to be a neighbor and was once again grateful that I have neighbors I can be comfortable enough around to show my house to, even if it's a mess.

This morning we were all up bright and early, wondering if there would be school. There was, so we got the boys on the bus and Austin went to the office and I started painting. Around noon we received word that, instead of being ended like we thought, the fighting is actually spreading to other districts and some really horrific things are going on - head officers being brutally murdered, etc. Instead of trying to put it in my own words, I'll post some links and you can check out the latest happenings for yourself.

edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/02/25/bangladesh.gunbattle/index.html?iref=topnews

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7911524.stm

Since the trouble is mostly in Bangladesh Rifles Quarters, we are not in danger and we have no plans of heading that way. So if you are worried about us, don't be. Instead, pray for those who are on both sides of this, as well as for the government to know how to handle it. I am so saddened to think how many lives have been lost and am praying that it will end soon.

Unfortunately, the boys were planning to go to a kids' camp outside of Dhaka this weekend, but that has been cancelled. Even though the area would probably have been safe, cell phone towers have been turned off outside of the city and they would not have been able to contact parents, which would not have been a good feeling, given the current situation. So I am about to welcome my boys home and am wondering how we can make this a special weekend anyway. Lets see, I have 2 walls painted blue in their room... I wonder if they'd like to help put orange on the other walls. LOL I'm sure they would, but will it push me over the edge? Maybe they can "camp out" in the living room. Any ideas anyone?

Ta ta for now.

Highlights of Our Trip

2009-02-22T20:12:00.002+06:00

Highlights of our trip were... a pool to swim in,

trials to hike and nature to enjoy,

beautiful people,

time to relax and listen to each other,

new places to see and great people to be with. I feel like I've gotten to know my team mates much better, which helps me appreciate them more. I had time to sit and do nothing but watch the sun and the wind dance with the trees. I laughed more than I have laughed in a very long time. It was refreshing.

A Trip Out Of Dhaka

2009-02-22T19:40:00.005+06:00

This past weekend, we took a train trip to the town of Sri Mongol with some of our co-workers. Here we are, waiting at the station, surrounded by beggars and other travelers. The shot below shows a bit more of the crowd around us but really can't do justice to the experience of traveling here.

What a relief to leave the city and see green again. I love to see the vibrant shades of the rice paddies, from the brilliant green of the new shoots to the golden stalks of ripened rice, with many different shades in between. I marvel at the perfect rows and the endurance of the farmers.

Our train stopped a couple of times so during one rather long stop, the kids got down and played a bit of tag, which helped to release some pent-up energy. It had been coming out in other ways, like hitting the seats to see how much dust would fly up into the air. It was rather cloudy on their side of the car for a bit. Then the boys got out their candy that they had accumulated from Grandma and the circus and soon had a sugar high to add to the normal high level of energy that they seem to all have been born with. Needless to say, we were all happy to get to our destination.

Here is one of the many onlookers they had, as they played during the stop.

The Poverty That Surrounds Me

2009-02-15T11:07:00.002+06:00

I have often tried to articulate what it feels like to live in a third world country. In my years here, I have met so many beautiful people, been surrounded by such needs, heard so many heart breaking stories, too much to put into words. Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words... so try watching Slumdog Millionare. I had the opportunity to see it this weekend and was deeply moved. The story mostly takes place in Mumbai (formerly Bombay) but it may as well have been Dhaka. It's about a chaiwallah ( person who serves tea) who spent his life in the slums and whose horrific experiences gave him the answers to the questions on a TV show, where he has the chance to win a million rupees. I don't want to "give away" the story because I really want you all to watch it, especially if you are one of our friends "back home." It gives you a picture of why we are here, as well as why it breaks my heart to be here. One reason we came back is because of the words of an ancient prophet that have become my theme over the last couple of years -

" A beautiful cedar palace does not make a great king! Your father also had plenty to eat and drink. But he was right and just in his dealings. That is why God blessed him. He gave justice and help to the poor and needy, and everything went well for him. Isn't that what it means to know me?" says the Lord. (from Jeremiah 22:15,16)

This sweet little girl, pictured above, sells potholders to help support her family. We met her at the market one day and she followed us around until we were done. Not asking for more sales or trying to get anything out of us, she just wanted to be with us. It's the beautiful souls like her that really break my heart. The other day I encountered two other girls, who just wanted to talk, to shake my hand. "Who owns you?" I wanted to ask them as I sat and offered a prayer of blessing for them.

Believe me, I have my days of wondering what I am doing here, of feeling like my presence isn't making a difference, of missing my family and friends so much that it hurts, of feeling like all I have to offer is a crumb when the world around me is starving and the needs are beyond what I can meet. But, I am talking to myself now, to offer the crumb I have is better than to keep it for myself just because I feel it is too small.

Oh, and if you watch the movie, be sure to watch the credits at the end or you will miss one of the best parts! And I'd love to hear your thoughts after you watch it.

Soccer Tournament

2009-02-15T09:58:00.002+06:00

A major topic of conversation in the Miller household has been the soccer tournament. My boys could hardly wait for the big day. A lot of different schools were invited to the French School, who hosted the event, for a big day of "football" as it is called in this part of the world. Jensen and Pruitt both proudly played for Grace International School and Riley was happy to watch for a little while but then he found one of his classmates and had the time of his life running around the huge school yard, behind the tents, on the slides, darting here, there and everywhere. Riley has about the shortest legs of any 5 year old I know, but they are full of speed! It makes me laugh to watch him go.

Here is Pruitt, playing against a team from the Australian School.

Jensen played 110%, if not more. I got so tickled watching him and realized this is the perfect game for him, with all his energy and enthusiasm.

Neither of the boys' teams made it to the finals, but they played well and had a great time. They were quite proud of the medals they received for participating. Needless to say, we had some very tired out boys to put to bed that night.

We had a quiet Valentine's Day - except for in the morning, when the boys discovered the packages of candy Grandma sent them! They had fun returning to those throughout the day. I got some peas and green beans into the freezer. We watched Snow White as a family and just had some "down time".

Birthday Weekend

2009-02-07T11:00:00.002+06:00

This is me, on my birthday. I often become introspective around the time of my birthday and this year was no exception. I had a really horrible week, to be completely honest. I found solace in the "mundane" chores, especially hanging out the laundry and sinking my hands into various batches of dough. I don't really want to go into a lot of detail on a public blog but suffice it to say that it feels like the monster has gotten a little weaker, I've gained some new insights, been overwhelmed with encouragement, and received amazing gifts, some from my fellow human beings and some from my Creator. In fact, before I woke up on my birthday, I had a lovely dream in which I woke up on my birthday and it was raining and I was so happy. The layers of dirt were gone from the leaves and everything was fresh and green again. Even though I was disappointed to really wake up and find it had only been a dream, I was blessed with the reminder that God knows the things that really make me happy. Even though things don't always go the way I would like, He knows my heart and understands why I'm sad when I'm sad, why I'm happy when I'm happy. And I continue to hold on to the hope that someday, everything will be made right.

So, back to my birthday, I woke up to the sound of my guys singing "Happy Birthday" and was immediately handed a cup of hot coffee and 3 sweetly wrapped packages, each containing a darling necklace. I spent the morning watching Riley's preschool having sports day, on the lovely grounds of the American Club. I could have kicked myself for not taking the camera... so you can't see what it was like. Just imagine between 20 and 30 cute kids, doing potato relays, throwing balls, etc. What made me happiest was to spend the morning surrounded by pots and pots of flowers. I absolutely love flowers and greenery and the few trees I see from my apartment windows just don't cut it. We hung out afterwards and he played on the playground and I enjoyed connecting with other moms. We grabbed lunch there before taking a rickshaw as close to the "downtown" shops as we could, so I could pick up a few things that I can't find on our side of town. Then we grabbed a CNG, to Riley's delight, and buzzed home. I was so impressed to see a handful of disabled men, selling popcorn and pot holders at various intersections, instead of just begging. And the sweetest young girls who didn't ask for a thing, just looked and smiled and wanted to shake hands. In the evening, we met my in-laws at one of my favorite restaurants for dinner and then had ice cream cake at their place later.

We had a laid back day yesterday. Austin took the boys with him and picked up a couple of shelves.

Here he is, after setting up the biggest shelf in his studio. It makes a huge difference when you have a place to put things! Again I am impressed with the things he does with "stuff". We had some friends over in the evening for pot pies and mint chocolate brownies. The mood was dampened a bit by our neighbors who complained twice about the noise the kids were making. It's to the point where they can't run at all without us fearing a call or knock at the door. Somebody help me out here - do kids here not run and play? If you live in a city of 14 million and share an apartment building with between 50 and 100 (just guessing), wouldn't you expect to put up with a bit of noise? Please forgive us, but we really are trying! The kids handled it pretty well and, in the end, had a lego building contest which was quite impressive. Here is Riley, putting the finishing touches on his.

And now we are enjoying a quiet Saturday. The leftover pot pie is in the oven and we are about to devour it.

Musings

2009-01-26T09:12:00.004+06:00

As I rode a rickshaw to the store the other day, I got a closer view of the fog that has been wrapped around the city. I love the way it softens the harsh edges of the concrete buildings and helps to hide the thick layers of dust on the tree leaves that make them appear brown instead of green. It makes everything look a bit more surreal. I have always loved fog - unless I have to drive through it. I wish, however, that the fog in my soul would be as lovely as the fog outside. I haven't written much for a while, partly because I have been busy, partly because I haven't known what to write. I've had some really hard, sad days, yet I have had some really good moments.

I met the sister of my neighbor recently, when she brought a plate of pithas ( cakes made from rice flour, a specialty often made in the cool season) for us. We had coffee together and chatted a while. Then she invited me to come over the next day so she could make soup for me. So the next afternoon the boys and I went over for a while. While the boys played with their boy and played like boys do all around the world, I joined the banter of the sisters and their mother. After missing "family" it brought a smile to my face to listen to them. I was so impressed with the way they care for each other and help each other. They told me stories of when their father was still alive and they had Japanese neighbors. He was so concerned because their new neighbors were so far from family, who would they have to love? So he told them that he would be their father and they should come and eat together. The father's hospitality and kind heart has been passed on to the next generation. As I ate the hot soup that was prepared for me and sipped hot tea sweetened with ghur ( molasses made from date-tree syrup) they made plans to teach me how to cut and cook fish and we swapped stories about different kinds of food we eat. I walked across the hall to my home, feeling less of a stranger, and it felt good.

Another day a friend came over so I could teach her how to make chocolate chip cookies. She was much younger when we lived here before and her mother used to teach me how to make the most amazing Bengali food - not that I ever succeeded, but at least I got to see how she accomplished it! My friend is now a lovely young lady and we had a great time baking cookies and talking about life and politics. We had both stayed up the night before to watch President Obama's inauguration speech and she was so excited about it that she had called her friends and told them to watch it as well. She told me what struck her father was the fact that Obama sat on an ordinary chair, just like everyone else and how, here, the leaders think they need to have a really big fancy chair. They are hoping that leaders here learn something from his example.

I love seeing the things that stand out to people in other cultures. We have heard the hopes of people first hand, here in Bangladesh and on our recent trip to Malaysia, that things will change. From taxi drivers to fellow train passengers, they have shared hopes and concerns. One of the customs officers looked at our passports and said, "You're not from Alabama, you're from Obama!" He was pretty pleased with himself and we all laughed together. I heard the story of an African American woman whose family put money together so she could go to the inauguration speech. She was wearing a T-shirt with the names of her family, going back to the time of slavery. As people around heard her story, they told her that she was not alone, that they were with her. I feel hope when I hear stories like this, hope that the American people will truly love their neighbors. All around me, I see people with so little, giving so much more. Loving those they could easily hate. Welcoming those who are different, oh so different. Welcoming, not just as friends, but as family.

Family. A place of belonging. Safety. We all long for these things. And we all have something to give that can help others to feel these things. I love Reverend Joseph E Lowery's ending to the benediction at the Inauguration .

Help us to work for that day when the black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when the white will embrace what is right.

Amen!

2009-01-13T10:26:00.002+06:00

Sometimes, when we reach for our dreams, we find they are too big for us to really get a hold of. So we either walk away, or we grab a piece of that dream, break it off and hold on to it. As the piece of our dream breaks off, it shifts and changes, sometimes becoming something different but even more beautiful in the process. Yet sometimes the edges, the reality, can be sharp and painful and we wonder if it is really worth the effort.

I wasn't planning of blogging this morning. In the middle of an email to a friend, as I was thinking about my life, these thoughts came to me. Part of me is like, "Whew, I made it through the year!" and the other part of me is saying, "But I am so tired." So I'm pulling my bits of dreams out of my pockets and looking at them, asking myself some deep questions and holding the "bits" up to the Light.

Canopy Walk

2009-01-05T06:56:00.002+06:00

Yesterday we took a hike through a Malaysian forest, part of which included a canopy walk, 200 meters off the ground. It was pretty amazing! It has been so long since I have been so totally surrounded by nature; I wanted to cry for sheer happiness!

It was especially cool to get a view of the city from a couple of the platforms.

There is something so refreshing about waterfalls. The boys had a high old time splashing around and getting pretty much soaked. Then we followed a pipeline down from the falls to a picnic area.

Climbing on top of big rocks was another thrill for the boys. We finally started walking back out to where there was a Canteen for lunch, but it was closed. So we walked and walked and walked. We had brought a taxi in the morning but there were no taxis there when we were ready to leave. The boys thought they weren't going to make it. We finally came to the main road and waited a while until an empty taxi stopped. The driver couldn't take us all the way back but offered to take us to a bus stop where we could catch a bus back into the city and didn't want to take anything for doing it. As we pulled up to the bus stop, I caught sight of McDonalds, which made my boys very very happy!

We decided to bring a bus back, since we hadn't tried that yet, and were pleased to discover there is no charge for kids to ride the bus. I think we will be using that option a bit more now!

Riley's Birthday

2009-01-05T06:46:00.002+06:00

We went to the zoo to celebrate Riley's birthday. Unfortunately, it started raining and didn't stop so we walked through the rain and were still able to see most of the animals and the guys didn't mind it.

Riley wasn't content until we found the lions and tigers, then he was on cloud 9! Other highlights were an animal show, a sleeping civet close enough to touch, hot burgers eaten in a dry place and the reptile house.

We were ready to get home though and dry off. Then it was time for cake, before heading to one of the many malls for dinner at a food court (the boys picked McDonalds, I had Indian and Austin had Middle Eastern so we were all happy) and a movie of Riley's choice. It was a full but very fun day.

Shopping Daze

2009-01-03T05:02:00.002+06:00

We spent the last 2 days shopping, stocking up on things we can't get in Bangladesh as well as browsing for the fun of it. There is an amazing mall in the basement of the towers, where we ended up one night.

Well, that is all I can write for now because a very happy 5 year old Riley woke up. It's his birthday! His 4th birthday was here in Malaysia, on a layover during our flight. Now he's back for his 5th. He is itching to open his presents so I need to sign off. Pruitt just said Riley even feels heavier this morning, now that he's 5!

Leaving the Island

2009-01-03T04:44:00.002+06:00

We had such a wonderful and refreshing time on the island. This view from our room was especially refreshing for me and I wish I could take it with me and put it outside of my window in Dhaka!

A couple of taxi and one ferry ride later, we found ourselves at the train station. Because we had a couple hours to kill, we decided to do some shopping. We found a big shopping center and had fun browsing and eating donuts. When we decided to head back, there were no taxis to be found. We walked and walked, desperate and wondering if we were going to miss out train. Finally Austin flagged down a taxi that wasn't on duty. A guy was just taking his wife home from work, but he offered to take us and we got there, only to discover that the train was delayed a couple of hours. In the end it was 2 and a half hours, which felt very long to a tired out family. Some good things about it were that we had time to eat supper. We got burgers from McDonalds and did they ever taste good! Riley found a cat that had kittens and spent a lot of time watching and petting. We made friends with a jolly Malaysian man who was taking his grandchildren back to the capital after spending their holidays with him and his wife. He entertained us with stories and asked us if we think things will change with our new president. In talking with people from different countries, I have gotten the feeling that the world is really looking on in hope, a feeling they have not had the past few years, but that is another subject.

We enjoyed the lush potted plants that filled the station.

And of course there was a toilet. As in many places here, we had to pay 30 sens (roughly 10 cents) for each person to use it.

We were quite happy when the train finally pulled in and we found our berths and fell into nice clean soft beds for the night. We actually got a decent amount of sleep and pulled into the station around 8:30 in the morning.

Sunrise on the Beach

2009-01-03T04:36:00.002+06:00

One morning we decided to go for a walk before breakfast. Even though the beach faced west, the sky was still pretty amazing.

Here Pruitt is showing off his missing front teeth, which finally came out thanks to some wrestling matches with his brothers.

We came across starfish, and upside-down crab, a stranded fish in a pool and jelly fish. We let the jelly fish stay where they were but the boys had fun rescuing the other things.

Of course some of the fun is just looking for shells. We found lots of pieces of mother of pearl.

Seafood Night

2009-01-03T04:28:00.002+06:00

Austin loves seafood. The rest of us aren't as crazy about it as he is but we decided to have give it a try. How can you stay on an island and not eat at least a bit of seafood? So we went to our favorite Malaysian restaurant and picked out some crab from the ice box and a Red Snapper.

It all turned out really good. Here is the crab in a yummy garlicky sauce.

Jensen gave it a fair try but he wasn't as impressed as the rest of us.

The fish was in some kind of sweet and sour sauce and was really good too.

A Trip To the Aquarium

2009-01-03T04:14:00.002+06:00

Pruitt is starting his day with a smile and toast, ready to head off to the aquarium.

We saw lots of fish, sharks, turtles, Eagle Rays, Sting Rays, birds...

... jelly fish, anemones, tiny fish, huge fish, intensely beautiful colors and shapes, creatures I had never seen before...

... and penguins, which was one of the highlights for the boys. We saw beautiful purple sea urchins, which reminded us of Austin's encounter with one the last time we were here. There were sea cucumbers and sea apples. All I can say is that God must have had a lot of fun when He created life in all its diversity and beauty.

A Ride On High

2008-12-27T14:55:00.002+06:00

This is how we felt this morning when we finally boarded the cable car to take us to the top of a mountain, after an hour plus wait. It was well worth the wait!

Here we are at the top of Gunung Machinchang.

Aah, the hugeness of it all, the smallness of me!

The views were amazing, down to the Andaman Sea and over the island. There were a number of lookout places and a fun bridge to walk out on, as well as a little burger stand where we grabbed some lunch.

Riley was especially captivated by the deer in the little animal farm that was also on the grounds.

5 very tired people rode the taxi "home". I think we will sleep really good tonight!

Christmas

2008-12-27T14:29:00.002+06:00

Christmas Eve was a special time. Austin brought pizza in to our room, which we thoroughly enjoyed. We watched Polar Express and drank hot chocolate in our nice cool air conditioned room. The boys were very excited to open the last window on our Advent Calendar before falling asleep to the sound of Christmas music (which we brought with us).

Christmas morning they were up long before dawn. I heard Pruitt slip out of bed and try to find the little gift he was giving to Riley, so that he would have it beside him when he woke up. It was fun to surprise them with some things they had ooed and ahhed over when we found a Toys R Us in Kuala Lumpur. Later we took snow man candles down to breakfast with us. The breakfast buffet was serving pasta, salad, baked beans, toast and fruit, to mention some of the things. It was the unusual Christmas breakfast, but very tasty!

Later we went out on the beach again. We all played volleyball with an imaginary net and the boys dug for Pirate treasure. So far they havent' found much!

I have missed my family and friends a lot this holiday season and it's been difficult to be so far. Yet I am so grateful to be able to experience the beauty and warmth of Asia. Sitting on the balcony at night, listening to the wind rustling the palm leaves and letting my thoughts tumble out as I talked with Austin, I realized again how much I have right now. My soul is breathing in gulpfuls of life as I let all the questions and "bigness" of the future slip away. I have today, and today is beautiful.

Sand Angels and More

2008-12-27T14:17:00.002+06:00

We've been having a lot of fun exploring, trying out new food, swimming and, in general, relaxing. Though I must say that it is a challenge to relax when you are on a vacation with 3 active boys!

The boys decided to make sand angels, since we obviously won't have any snow to make snow angels this year!

They have such vivid and creative imaginations. The other day they found the pile of disposable slippers in our room and made some kind of a game out of throwing them at each other. They said they were "toasting" each other, which I guess meant that you were out if a slipper hit you.

The place we are staying at has a fantastic pool, as well as being near the beach. It has been a nice place to cool off during the hot afternoons. It has a waterfall on one end, which is where they are all chilling out as I am writing.

Sand Castles

2008-12-23T15:26:00.003+06:00

Here is the big castle my guys worked on this morning. For some reason, they were much more interested in building it when their dad got involved! Not that I'm surprised, everything is more interesting when he is around!

Here is Riley's volcano.

And the finished product. There is even a moat going all the way around, though it's hard to tell from this shot, and bits of mother-of-pearl decorating the tops.

Ahh, my heart is full. We've made it this far. We are all feeling well, which is huge! There is so much more I could write but my boys are in from the pool and are hungry!

Corn, Jellyfish and Sand

2008-12-23T15:10:00.003+06:00

Lets see, where were we... breakfast. Pruitt was the first to spot the corn and soon made up his mind that that was what he wanted for breakfast. Soon he and Riley were devouring cups of buttered, salted corn while Jensen and I hunted down some pastries and poor Austin had to settle for a little of this and that. We soon found a taxi and headed to our hotel. I didn't know quite what to expect since I had spent hours trying to find a place and every place said they were either full or were not suitable for a family. I had finally found one place that had room and sounded big enough for us all so I reserved it. I was quite happy to finally get to our room and find it exceeded my expectation. The best part is the balcony with it's view of the mountains, and the fact that it's a 5 minute walk to the beach.

We have been spending a lot of time by the water and are loving it! The boys have been a little freaked out by jellyfish, which we've been seeing from time to time but that hasn't kept them out of the water for too long. The locals don't seem to be bothered by them and there haven't been very many.

This morning they all spent some time building castles in the sand.

Food, Trains and Ferrys

2008-12-23T14:36:00.004+06:00

Here is a view from our hotel window. We walked through this fruit market a few nights ago and ate some delicious local food. Jensen wasn't too keen on the curried noodles but the other two have been pretty adventurous and Pruitt even ate, and liked, squid. We found some papaya salad today and it was soooo good. We've been eating lots of fried rice too.

We took an overnight train to an island. The boys were pretty impressed with the berths. Riley was so wound up, despite the fact that he barely made it through the long wait to board the train. He thought he had to have a top berth so we put bags around him to make sure he wouldn't fall during the night and he was on top of the world! Our Malay neighbors got a kick out of it all! Before he finally drifted off to sleep, I heard him singing to himself, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not scream, I'm telling you why..." The boys all slept soundly, while I kept waking up to the sound of people walking through the car and announcements being made. I was glad when it was morning and Austin brought me a cup of coffee from the train's restaurant and I sat, watching a beautiful Malaysian morning come to life. Ahh, what could be better than coffee and seeing the sun rise over palm trees and mountains. Well, you may call them hills but compared to what I am used to seeing, they were mountains!

We had a 90 minute ferry ride across to the island and the boys entertained themselves for a while before announcing that they were sea sick. It all ended well, though I had my bag ready, just in case. We were very happy to disembark and find some breakfast.

The Fun Begins!

2008-12-23T14:16:00.002+06:00

We are thoroughly enjoying our vacation in Malaysia! Our flight out was delayed at least 10 hours due to fog, but I was happy because we were able to sleep in our own beds all night instead of getting up and trying to drag ourselves to the airport in the middle of the night! We left around 2 pm and had a good flight. We then spent a couple of days in Kuala Lumpur, shopping, looking around and enjoying places like A&W, as seen above.

The famous "Twin" Towers of Malaysia. We found some great shopping and eating places in the basement mall. Dunkin Donuts and Toys R Us made for some very happy boys! Oh my goodness, you would think that our boys have never been in a toy store, for all the commotion they raised! It was very exciting for them and they couldn't understand why we couldn't buy them everything they wanted!

Oops! These were supposed to go on first but I still haven't figured out how to switch things around. Anyway, a couple of days before we left, we spent the day at the Millers, celebrating "Christmas" with them. Riley always enjoys sitting on Grandpa's lap, especially if he gets to take pictures!

Jensen read the Christmas Story and we passed out presents. The boys remembered how Grandma used to have piles of presents and they used to take turns passing them out. She didn't disappoint them and the fun lasted for quite a while! We are so blessed to live so close to family. We spent the rest of the day eating yummy food, including goodies my mother-in-law brought out of hiding, like cashews, honey roasted peanuts, cheese balls and all kinds of chocolates! It didn't feel like we were thousands of miles from "home." I really miss the rest of our family and friends. Some days I walk around with a big ache in my heart. Yet I am so grateful for the family and friends we have on this side of the world.

Christmas Programs

2008-12-12T17:00:00.006+06:00

December has been quite busy so far. The boys have each been part of a Christmas production at their school. Here is Jensen as an innkeeper.

Pruitt was a sheep.

And Riley was a shepherd. He is still as ornery as ever!

Here is Riley with more of his classmates.

Other highlights have been making Christmas cookies, taking some friends Christmas shopping and getting to know some of our neighbors better.

Green Space

2008-12-02T21:31:00.002+06:00

We all loved being able to get out of Dusty Dhaka for the weekend. While the adults were in sessions, the kids found lots to do outside and had a blast. Riley spent hours "fishing" for a crab in this little pool. Pruitt fell headfirst into it and was soaked! Frisbee, soccer, the muck at the river were other highlights.

For me, it was the flowers, the open green spaces, the trees...

Overloaded

2008-12-02T20:47:00.002+06:00

Overloaded. That is how life feels right now. And I'm not staying on top of things very gracefully. Riley just got over Shigella, or something like that and now we are fighting a stomach bug of some sort. He and Pruitt were both home yesterday and Pruitt had to miss school again today. They have been such good sports through it all, though their mother is becoming rather worn out!

On the bright side, I was able to get out of the house this afternoon to go to parent teacher conferences. Even though half of the time was spent sitting in fumes or bumping along on rough roads, it was a nice break. It was so encouraging to speak with their teachers and to hear such positive reports. They have been thriving in the new class room environment, have made such good friends and are really being stretched in so many positive ways. They are all practising for Christmas programs and I am hoping that seeing them will put me in a more festive mood. Dust covered palm trees just don't have the same effect as a white blanket of snow! Most of our neighbors are getting ready to slaughter an animal for the coming Eid holiday, while I know back home most people are putting up their trees, hanging lights and going crazy with all the shopping and parties. Somehow it just doesn't feel like Christmas yet... time to dig out those cookie cutters and start playing some carols. We'll get in the spirit of things yet!

Speaking Out

2008-11-30T08:44:00.002+06:00

Sometimes we speak out to try to change the world, and other times we speak to try to keep the world from changing us. Ellie Weisel, Holocaust Survivor

The recent acts of terror in India are heavy on my heart this morning. Part of me wants to quiver in fear; if it happened "next door" it could happen here. I am also so sad for those who have had to suffer through this, both the victims and their families. Part of me is afraid that this will only fuel the fire of hatred against Muslims, will only increase the fear that many people feel. Today I am writing, not to change the world, but to keep this event and others like it, from changing me.

I just returned from a staff conference where our mixed staff of Muslims, Christians, Hindus and Buddhist met together. We learned, we laughed, we interacted with each other and it was beautiful. We talked about our uniqueness as such a diverse organization, how we are like a big family. Have we found the perfect way of doing things? Not at all! Do we always get along? No. But we are trying and that gives me hope.

What concerns me this morning is the way labels are being used. As far as I know the recent happenings in India were acts of terror, carried out by Muslims. But that does not make all Muslims terrorists. Terrorism is defined as the unlawful use of violence to frighten people or accomplish a goal. I'd like to point out that there is "terrorism" all around us, in every religion. In some places it is just covered up a bit more but that doesn't make it any less terrible to the victims. If a Christian pastor molests young children, is he not causing them to feel terror? Is he not, then, a terrorist? Does this make all Christians terrorists? What about child traffickers? What about those who visit sex workers who have been forced into the trade? The list could go on...

It is true that there are writings within Islam that condone acts of violence against those who do not share their faith. But is it not also true that "Christian" leaders have pulled out portions of Scripture to support acts of violence against others? When will we ever learn that you cannot fight violence with violence and win. No matter who you are.

I want to challenge all of us, especially myself, to live my life in such a way that even my most bitter enemy will not have reason to hate me. To treat each person, regardless of race, religion, age, gender or status, the way I would like them to treat me.

I don't like to be labeled. Do you?

Akash

2008-11-17T09:58:00.003+06:00

In the middle of Old Dhaka, down a very noisy, narrow and crowded alley, there is a house. The rooms are full of women and children who come for many reasons. For some, it is to be near the hospital where a sick child is being cared for. For some, it is a safe place to nurture the unborn life within them, a place where they are treated with love and not shame. It has become a home for abandoned children and a transitioning place for orphans. Some friends and I spent some time walking through the different rooms. There were several classes going on and the younger children were very enthusiastic about singing for us. I noticed an older girl sitting with them who has hydrocephalus. I am fairly certain I saw her 10 years ago when we visited and she was then quite small. Her mother abandoned her at the hospital at birth, when she saw there was something wrong with her. She has spent her whole life at the house. Her movements were slow but she was full of life and kept starting new songs for the children to sing for us.

We passed some unwed expectant mothers on the stairs and my heart nearly broke to see how young they are. In a culture where the girl is nearly always blamed for such things (though it is rarely her fault, from what I have seen and heard) I cannot imagine what they must be going through. Upstairs we came to a room for handicapped children. My first thoughts were , " I don't know what to do here." As I started to interact with them, I began to see more than twisted bodies that needed to have their diapers changed and their teeth brushed. I saw gorgeous smiles, brilliant minds and the capacity for deep feelings, both joy and sorrow. This morning I was reading how God chose things despised by the world, things that counts as nothing at all to bring to nothing what we think important. I thought to myself, " Yes, that is them all right." I had to think of the one girl who could barely sit, who was copying the drumming patterns I was doing on the floor. She was brilliant! Another mischievous little one kept throwing her toy so that I would pick it up and give it back to her. She had a delightful laugh! Another one was talking to me in her own way, only I was not so brilliant when it came to understanding her. Then there was the little boy who was crying his little heart out, feeling so unloved and uncared for. They said he gets really jealous if others are getting attention and he is not. The poor dear. He wasn't just crying because of the rejection of the moment, he was feeling a lifetime of rejection and his pain went deep. These children feel so deeply, are so aware of life and what really matters. There is nothing stupid about them.

We went on and found a few toddlers, but by this age, if they are normal, most have been adopted. A young mother came over with her darling newborn son. As my friends took turns holding him, I asked her if she had given him a name yet. She told me his name is Akash, which means "sky". I was excited because that is Pruitt's Bengali name so we talked about that a bit. I found some more babies to hold; they were all so adorable! There seemed to be a mixture of mothers and volunteers, checking on the babies, changing and feeding them. It was beautiful to watch. After a while, the Sister in charge of the ward came in and changed little Akash. She had a small audience and I wondered what was going on. Soon I noticed his mother was there, talking and shedding some tears. It was then that I realized she was saying good bye. We had just been talking about the adoption process with one of the Sisters and suddenly it was happening before our eyes. It was so hard to see it from this end. Soon we were all crying with the mother. Her pain was so real. But what strength, what bravery, and what love! She knew if she kept him, he would be treated shamefully as he grew up. By giving him away to a family who is going to great lengths to make it appear that he is their birth child, he will have a chance to grow up with dignity.

When I see my own Akash and when I see a gorgeous blue sky, I am reminded of a brave mother who loved her son enough to give him away. I have even more respect for families on both ends of adoption. My brother and his wife are in the process of 2 adoptions at the moments and through the last 18 months I have gotten a glimpse of the excitement, the unending paperwork and expenses, the heartrending long waits, the eagerness, the thrill of the words "we have a girl!"

Kudos to all you out there who have the courage and love to pursue adoption. You are doing a beautiful thing. And to those have given your child up, for reasons others may not understand, you have so much courage. To those of you who have been adopted, you can hold on to feelings of rejection or you can trade them in for the realization that you are wanted more than most of us.

To the rest of you, if you know anyone in the adoption process, find ways to support them. No one should have to go through labor and delivery of any kind alone.

To Baby Blue and your brand new baby sister, we love you so much and are so so happy that you are going to be part of our family. Your cousins can not wait to come home and meet you! Neither can I.

To Baby Akash and his mother, you will always have a place in my heart.

My Knight In Shining Armor

2008-11-11T07:30:00.003+06:00

Riley has been sick again, the last couple of days. He had a nasty cough accompanied by an ear ache and fever. So we took a trip to the doctor yesterday. He slept all night last night and woke up feeling much better and we are all happy about that!

Between the trip to the doctor and then a trip to the grocery store, we probably spent a couple of hours sitting in traffic. I didn't time it, but it sure felt like it! Every time I go out lately, it has felt like there is more traffic than usual and it has been harder to find transportation, especially to go across town. On the way to the doctor, the driver said that he was told that every day 450 new cars are coming into Dhaka. No wonder! This is one time I really wish I could blame things on my imagination, but the reality is that this city is fuller than ever! I am so grateful that my job allows me to stay home most days. Since the kids are all back in school today, I am going to relish the quiet and clean my nasty looking ceiling fans and hopefully get some food made ahead for the weekend.

Waiting At The Airport

2008-11-08T09:32:00.002+06:00

There is nothing like chocolate donuts and coffee to pass the time! We got to the airport early and had some time on our hands so we found a great coffee shop and had one last treat.

The boys did so good and kept themselves entertained as we waited. Our flight ended up being delayed but we were just so happy to be flying instead of having the long bus journey that we didn't mind the wait too much.

The boys eventually dug beyond the coloring books that were in their bags and found packs of skittles and other snacks and were quite happy!

The boys were already making plans to return to India and visit the Taj Mahal. We shall see. In the meantime, we are home in Dhaka and doing well.

Heading Home

2008-11-08T09:21:00.002+06:00

Here we are, all piled in the taxi, ready to head for the airport.

We were so blessed to be able to fly home and were able to borrow a suitcase and load it with some things we can't get here or were just really cheap there. It was quite fun!

More of India

2008-11-08T09:08:00.002+06:00

My men - aren't they wonderful! One of them was completely tuckered out at the end of a very fun day, but the other one is just pretending. I'll let you guess which one is faking it.

While we ladies were filling grocery carts with all kinds of goodies, the guys tried in vain to find a taxi to take them home and ended up taking this horse and carriage.

Riley and a friend, enjoying a cool drink.

One of the many amazing meals we were served at our friends' house.

Rewind to India

2008-11-08T08:56:00.002+06:00

I promised you some more pics from our trip to India and here they are. The trip to the arcade was definitely a highlight for the boys.

Riley had a blast playing air hockey!

Here is Jensen, racing for all he is worth.

And here is Pruitt. Can you guess what he just did?

Blessed

2008-11-02T08:38:00.002+06:00

Well, here I am again! It has been a very full week since I was last here. Unfortunately, Austin has the camera with him so I am not able to upload photos of our last days in Kolkata. They were such good days, full of special times with our friends, last minute shopping and, the highlight of all for the boys, a morning spent in an arcade. We had planned to go to a water park but, by the time they felt up to it, the weather had turned and it was cold and wet. So our host took them to an awesome arcade and treated them to hours of fun. Jensen declared that it was better than going to a water park! By the time we left Kokata, they were all glad that we had come, in spite of the tough days of being sick. For me, it was such a humbling experience to be served with such love and generosity. Our host family went out of their way again and again, taking us places, feeding us delicious meals, going out at all hours of the night for medicine, bringing pizza in to the hospital, watching the boys so Austin and I could finish our shopping, doing loads of laundry ( and some of it really gross too, I won't go into details), brewing pots of coffee, talking, listening, laughing, encouraging. I am more comfortable on the giving end; it is hard for me to let someone serve me without trying to pay them back. The whole experience ended up being a real blessing.

Our trip home was another blessing. In the middle of our sickness, we realized we would not be well enough to travel home by train. We had spent hours at the station, buying these tickets. Hours! The train only runs from Kolkata to Dhaka Saturdays and Sundays, so Austin and our host spent a couple hours again at the station, and were able to get most of the money back. Since we didn't want to wait till the next weekend to go home, we knew we would have to take the bus, a 12 hour minimum journey, with a couple of those hours spent at the border, lugging all our bags around, standing in long pushy lines. We were feeling better, but still not 100%. During this time, we had an email from a friend, wondering if we had any needs. When we let her know we would love to be able to fly home instead of taking the bus, she made that possible. Again we were so blessed by friends and were so very grateful! We spent a couple of hours at the airport but there were bathrooms nearby, as well as a coffee shop where the boys enjoyed chocolate donuts ( I have a good photo to post later). The flight itself took 40 minutes and immigration was a piece of cake. It was good to be home again!

That was Tuesday. The rest of the week fly by in a blur. The boys were very happy to get back to school again. It took me a while to get rid of the layers of dust that had accumulated here, as well as catching up with everything else. At least we are healthy again.

We are so blessed!

Celebrating!

2008-10-26T11:39:00.002+06:00

There has been a festive atmosphere around here, now that the boys are home and we are on the mend!

They are full of energy again, hungry and just pretty much back to normal!

It has been such a blessing and comfort to be able to be with friends during this time. It is never easy to be sick so far from "home" but is sure helps to have friends and not feel so alone. In the hospital, the boys were wishing over and over they could be in Akron Children's hospital instead of here ( I was too - for reasons including a clean bathroom with toilet paper, towels and soap, clean walls, a more familiar bedside manner among professionals... you get the picture). They were also wishing we would not have come to Kolkata. But now that they are back on their feet, literally, they are having a blast and I think we will have a good ending for this chapter of our lives. We will spend a day or two doing some fun things and are looking into flying home, instead of the long bus ride back. I am slowly feeling better and took my last med this morning, which has been quite strong and I think I will feel better when it gets out of my system.

And Then They Got Sick...

2008-10-26T11:08:00.002+06:00

The ironic thing is, the last blog before the ones about India, was about us getting back to normal. Well, that didn't last long! The night we moved in with our friends, the boys were up all night, with vomiting and diarrhea. By the time we would get one mess cleaned up and be back in bed, another would have at it. It wasn't long before I started feeling strange, but I thought it was just a lack of sleep and everything I was having to clean up. We were soon out of clean sheets and clothes. It was wild. Jensen and Riley woke up and felt better and we thought maybe it was a short bug. They started feeling "green" again after breakfast, while Pruitt didn't stir from his bed except to go to the bathroom. They ended up sleeping most of the day and actually kept down some medicine, as well as fluids. We thought we were over the worst of it. Then, when it was time for the 2nd round of meds, Jensen started throwing up again and Pruitt was so weak we had to practically carry him to the bathroom. Riley was doing okay though so we left him here with his new friends and he fell asleep with them while we took the boys to the ER of a nearby hospital. They were admitted and, after much arguing, were put in a private room together. The staff was shocked that the father was going to stay with them instead of the mother. They asked him if he would be able to manage. They don't know the amazing abilities of my husband! He is very patient and is also able to sleep anywhere. I knew if I stayed I would not be able to sleep much at all, plus I was feeling sick myself. When we told them that we have another younger one at home, they were okay with me leaving and Austin staying. We had a big "discussion" with the nurses when we got upstairs as well, trying to work out a solution so Austin could sleep too. Finally they brought in a sofa, but said it was only for one night and that at 7a.m. someone would come to take it out. When I came later the next morning, it was still there and it stayed there for the next night too. What a relief! We were so glad for Salma, our friend who went with us and helped argue on our behalf! Anyway, the boys were feeling much better by morning, having had IVs during the night. Pruitt was in tears though when I walked in, as they were putting his meds through his IV and it was burning a lot. After it was done though, they took his IV out and said it could stay out if he drank lots of water. Poor Jensen - his started bleeding back into the tube and was causing him a lot of pain. They were going to try and leave it in but I convinced them that he has had IVs before and sometimes his veins collapse, maybe they need to move it. I guess medical staff here treat the family members as if they don't know anything because sometimes the family will get really violent if anything goes wrong. So we were told to act really knowledgeable and assertive. In the end, they took it out and left it out, as long as he ate and drank a lot and took the meds orally. Boy, did he ever guzzle water! I have never seen him drink so much. There was no way he wanted that IV to be put back in! We also convinced them that Pruitt could take meds orally as well and he was so relieved!

So I stayed with them a good bit of the day, while Austin had a good breakfast, did a bit of shopping, including Tin Tin comic books for the boys, which they were tickled for. Salma brought Riley in for visiting hour at noon and again in the evening, with her son as well. The boys were so happy to see each other again, and Jensen especially was happy with the Dominoes Pizza she brought. The hospital food was very unappetizing. If you think American hospital food is bad, you haven't seen anything! A thick ball of mashed potatoes, a pile of overcooked, sticky rice, a bowl of watery lentils, some bland vegetable soup and a bowl of sour yogurt with some sugar on top. They ate some yogurt but wouldn't touch the other stuff. So by evening, Jensen was good and hungry. Pruitt still didn't have much of an appetite but was able to stand by himself again and showing improvement. After visiting hours were over, I went home with Salma and Austin stayed overnight with the boys. They had a really good night of sleep and, by morning, were bouncing off the walls! The doctor finally came by around 11:00 a.m. and said they could be discharged, though it took at least 3 hours to get it done, despite the fact that Austin kept putting pressure on. They finally were released and it was so so good to see them walk in the door, carrying their own bags, with big smiles on their faces! By the way, the official diagnosis was acute gastroenteritis.

Fun in Kolkata

2008-10-26T10:59:00.002+06:00

After a couple of days at Sarah's place, we moved in with some friends of ours. The boys were really happy to have some kids to play with. Here is Riley coloring with a new friend.

Here we are at a restaurant, one of our last meals before we got sick. We are still puzzled as to exactly what caused it, maybe it's hiding in that juice there...

We all were able to visit one of the places with Austin, where slum women make beautiful cards and quilt gorgeous blankets, handbags and scarves out of old saris. I bought a bunch of stuff before we left, so some of you will get to see it someday...

Welcome to Kolkata, India!

2008-10-26T10:44:00.002+06:00

So, here we are in Kolkata! I love all the old looking yellow taxis that seem to be everywhere. It makes it easy to get around.

Here we are, in the days before we got sick!!

Somehow my photos got posted in the wrong order, but here is a tired Pruitt, after nearly 12 hours of bus travel, including time at the border. This is still on our trip to Kokata, from Dhaka.

Riley remained pretty perky. I had to work pretty hard to convince him to take a nap on the last stretch of the journey. We boarded a nice AC bus in Dhaka at 10:30 p.m., got to the border at 5:15 a.m. and had to wait around till the border opened at 7:00. The Bangladeshi side opened earlier though, so we could get our passports stamped on that side at least. We had to wait in a long lines, literally push and shove and hold on to each other. As we were coming through, Austin heard one of the guards telling the guys in customs not to ask us for bribes because we are foreigners. Everyone else was being asked for 50 taka to get through. It took about 2 hours total to get through both sides, then it was back on the bus and a few more hours till we got to Kolkata. We stayed with Sarah, who works for MCC here in Kolkata, for the first few days. The boys and I hung out there a lot while Austin visited different projects. More to come...

Getting Back to Normal

2008-10-13T09:26:00.002+06:00

We've been painting a lot lately. Here is a bit of Riley's handiwork. Austin and I spent a couple days painting our entry and dining room as well and I hope to post some pics of that soon. It feels so good to have some color and texture on the wall, not to mention finally getting some pictures hung.

In the middle of our painting, the neighbor, who we visited on Eid and took a plate of cookies to, stopped in to return the plate. It was loaded with a delicious fish curry for Austin, though she said I could have some too. When we visited them, they asked if we like fish and Austin told them he does but he doesn't get it very often because the rest of us don't like it that much and, truth is, I don't know how to cook it very well. So they seized the opportunity to give him something he really liked. I was touched by their thoughtfulness.

Life is getting more and more back to normal. During Eid and Puja (the Hindu holidays which came right after Eid this year) the streets of Dhaka were fairly quiet as so many had gone to their home villages for the holidays. There were very few beggars, hawkers or horns beeping for over a week and we enjoyed the quiet. But life goes on and that is okay too. Here is a picture taken from our veranda, of the street below and you can see a bit of the apartment building across the street from us. A vegetable hawker is pedaling by and below you can see a closer view of a similar cart. Sorry about the power lines but they are everywhere and there wasn't much I could do about them.

As I write, there is a cart full of fish across the street and I can hear at least the 4th vegetable hawker coming. We are definitely back to normal!

Now if our health would just get back to normal as well. Jensen has impetigo for the 2nd time and Austin is still struggling with health issues, though all the lab tests have been clear. I managed to get impetigo from Jensen and have been treating it with bleach and antibacterial cream, in hopes that I won't need to take antibiotics. We'll see what happens.

One very exciting thing happened last week - my brother got married! It was hard not to be there but we were actually able to watch it while it happened, via Internet. It was a bit choppy at times but still we felt like we were part of it and even got to see and chat with some relatives afterward.

Politics From the Eyes of a Housewife Overseas

2008-10-06T10:41:00.003+06:00

I recently received an email from a friend, asking my response to the question of whether Obama is a Muslim or not. Now, I'll admit, until a few weeks ago, I really hadn't paid much attention to what was going on in this whole presidential race. I have, however, noticed how politics in the West, affects life in other parts of the world. I feel like I've been sticking my neck out there a lot lately - well, it's a lot for me! - so I may as well continue! When I heard Palin's comments on the news last night, about Obama "palling around with terrorists" I was flabbergasted! I know that some of you reading this are strong McCain/Palin supporters. While I will respect your views, no matter how you end up voting, I just want to add another perspective to the picture. I will also say that I do not respect everything Obama stands for but I would like to invite you to put on the shoes of a housewife living abroad. I lack the time and energy to start from scratch here, so I am going to simply post my email response to my friend. Some of it may seem irrelevant to you, but it is my perspective.

Here goes-

I would love to be part of the conversation! I've been mulling the questions over since reading your email earlier this morning. A number of things come to mind and I'll probably ramble so here goes!

Whether Obama is Muslim or not, that I cannot say. Only God can see his heart. There will always be people saying one thing or the other. I am more concerned about what he does than who he says he is. I would rather be under the leadership of a respectable Muslim than a dis respectable Christian. I have been so saddened to see the way the West, in general, has come to see Muslims. It's comparable to how the Muslims view the Christians. Most Muslims in this part of the world think that all Americans are Christians and that to be a Christian means you get drunk, don't wear many clothes and have free sex. Perhaps there are a few Christian like that, but you and I know that has nothing to do with true Christianity. Likewise, to the West, Muslims are portrayed as being untrustworthy, evil and bloodthirsty, killing anyone who is not of their faith. While there are some that are that way, it is a very small portion of the whole - just like my example of Christians. Our experience of living here during 9/11 is a good example. We watched the live news coverage in our Muslim neighbor's apartment as we didn't have cable at the time. Again and again they expressed sorrow over what was happening and told us that this is not what Islam is really about. They told us that if we were threatened by anyone in the coming days, they would protect us. So many people would stop and ask if all our friends and family were okay. We had Muslim friends who would have given their lives for us, all the while our own country was ready to fight terror with terror. This whole war has gotten me really angry. Countless innocent lives have been lost, and for what? Our leader actually thinks God called him to fight this war?? How can anyone believe that, unless they ignore every word Jesus taught us. And for a possible future leader to say that God called us to this as well is frightening. The current leadership's foreign policy has done so much to ruin the credibility of Christians around the world. Many of us who are working here are ashamed when we need to tell people we are from America. Yet they open their doors to us. I'll admit, there are some fundamentalists here, but I have yet to meet one. The people I know have been so welcoming. In fact, last night a neighbor brought a tray, loaded with Iftar, which is the food they eat to break the fast, to share with us. Then she warmly gave us an invitation for our whole family to join them on Eid, which is the day of celebration at the end of Ramadan. I have to wonder how many Christians invite Muslims into their homes to share Christmas together. One thing is for sure, Muslims put us to shame when it comes to practicing true hospitality.

Muslims have their faults and there is much I disagree with and feel sad about here. But I can say the same about Christians. I long for there to be more dialogue between us all. More grace extended. Not so many walls, erected by what we think is true, without bothering to dig down and find the truth. I admire those who are asking questions.

You asked what is being said on this side of the world. I hope I have answered your question. When it comes to what Muslims here are saying about the 2 candidates, that I haven't heard at all. I do know that many of the mennonites here are Obama supporters, due to the fact that the other party wants to continue the current foreign policy.

Here ends my former email response. While the Muslim/Christian debate may not be a big deal to you, at least think about the foreign policy and imagine your life if you were living somewhere else.

I also can't help thinking of the irony - Jesus sat down with practising prostitutes and criminals in his day, without setting preconditions. Not to condone what they do but to show them another way. Today some of his followers are criticising anyone who sits down with certain criminals. I could go on, but I hope you have gotten the picture. Those of you who know me and want to continue this conversation, feel free to drop me an email, even if you disagree.

Peace.

The Gift of Freedom

2008-10-05T09:53:00.004+06:00

Last night I watched the movie Human Trafficking. I've known that slavery exists today. I've met a few survivors and people who are helping them. Yet, the enormity of it blows me away. More than 2000 are sold daily into modern day slavery, according to one quote. And the bulk of them are trafficked into the United States. I can't help but feeling that, in spite of all our freedom and glory, we have become a source of horror for so many innocent lives. We have created the demand for this atrocity and by doing so, have become one of the greatest terrorist nations of the world. We can no longer sit safely in our sheltered communities, closing our eyes to the reality around us or pointing our fingers of judgement to other nations. The country I live in has thousands of women and children trafficked out of it. The country you live in has many trafficked into it. Perhaps you feel I'm coming on a bit strong, getting too worked up about it. Watch the movie. Do some research. And ask yourself, "Who is my neighbor?"

For a while now, I've been wanting to do a blog on fair trade Christmas gift ideas. The movie last night was the final push for me to get this done! I would like to share some of my favorite websites with you. Some of them are directly helping survivors of slavery, others are simply helping to reduce poverty around the world, which, I might add, is a huge reason that many are pulled into trafficking in the first place. To those of us who follow Christ, Christmas represents the gift of freedom. I would like to invite you to give the gifts that represent freedom to those around you this Christmas and anytime, for that matter. Having said that, I know this is a time of financial hardship for many. You may not feel you can afford "fair trade" prices. Before you dismiss the idea, check it out. I think you will find many beautiful items that are actually affordable. I'll admit that you may spend more than if you shop at Walmart but you will be giving three gifts in one - a gift to the one you are buying for, a gift to the one who made it and a gift to the Creator of all.

Of course Ten Thousand Villages is pretty high up there on my list! Visit www.tenthousandvillages.com to find out more about them and see amazing products - some of which are produced by people I've been privileged to meet here.

Another favorite is The Emancipation Network, an international organization dedicated to fighting human trafficking. They help survivors rebuild their lives and work at preventing slavery in high risk areas. They import and sell beautiful handicrafts made by survivors and persons at risk. They sell products online at www.madebysurvivors.com. You can also host a party in your home. Go to their website for more information.

A friend of mine works with survivors in Kolkata, where they quilt beautiful blankets out of saris. The website is currently under construction but I'll give it to you anyway so that you can hopefully check it out in the near future. www.handandcloth.org

The Enterprising Kitchen is a nonprofit social enterprise that provides jobs and support for low income women in Chicago. They specialize in natural soaps and spa products. www.theenterprisingkitchen.org

For many of us, life is not complete without coffee! Hemisphere Coffee Roasters not only sells amazing coffee, they also have a mission to assist the church in coffee growing countries by purchasing coffee directly from farmers who will be a blessing to entire communities. For more information visit www.hemispherecoffeeroasters.com.

This is but a small list. I know there are so many other great websites and stores out there. If you have a favorite you'd like to share with me, drop me a comment.

Tiny steps, faithfully taken, will someday equal a giant leap.

Jensen's Birthday and More

2008-09-30T09:41:00.002+06:00

Wow! It's hard to believe I have a 9 year old! The day before his birthday, we took a snack in to Jensen's class. Here he is with his teacher, wearing their special birthday hat while everyone sang for him.

Since his birthday fell on a weekend, we were able to party all day. We had the Miller gang over for brunch and had a great time. Then Jensen went to a birthday party for one of his classmates while I decorated his cake and made pizzas for his evening party. Jensen and Austin were caught in a major rainstorm on their way home, which totally thrilled Jensen. It reminded me so much of the day he was born. It was raining so hard that there was a foot of water around the hospital and I had to jump from the van to the steps. It rained most of that day and when he was finally born, the Bengalis said we should name him Badol which means rainy, cloudy sky. So in the middle of the present day storm, Badol looked at his dad with big excited eyes and said, "This is Badol!" He went on to say that this was his best birthday yet. I am so thankful that God has given him to our family.

On a "not so fun" note, we've had all kinds of illness going on around here. Austin has been sick for over a week now, the last few days of which he stayed in bed most of the time and felt really awful. He made another trip to the dr. who said the lab work didn't show anything and that it's probably giardia. The meds haven't helped so far but we hope they will soon. He was tired of laying around so he went to the office, even though he's still really weak. Jensen had impetigo and passed it on to Pruitt so they have both been on antibiotics. Pruitt is quite proud of the fact that he can now swallow pills! I keep watching Riley and have been rubbing any suspicious spots with Savlon. I've been keeping him home from school, just in case. He has a horrible cough too and couldn't stop coughing last night. Finally I sat in the bathroom with him and we breathed in steam for a while and I rubbed Unkers (like vix) on his chest and back and prayed for us all! He finally was able to go to sleep and didn't cough much more after that which meant I could sleep too. Thank God! And this morning his cough is lessening and sounding better. Pruitt, who went to bed at 5:30 pm with a migraine, woke early this morning and felt great - though hungry! So he and Jensen ate breakfast on the living room floor at 6 a. m. - and then ate another breakfast later when the others got up!

In the middle of it all, I have been blessed by kindness. My father-in-law made trips to the pharmacy and market for me. He also took the boys out for a few hours to play soccer in a nearby field while I took a much needed nap. A neighbor brought a tray over, loaded with Iftar goodies and asked that we join them on Eid. I've experienced the love and support of friends and am so grateful.

Before any of this started, I had a dream in which I was holding one of my sons and these 2 huge snakes were trying to attack us. In my dream I kept calling out to Jesus and the snakes, while they tried again and again to reach us, they could not. I woke up, wondering what it all meant. I am a firm believer that God gives us dreams as gifts to guide us and comfort us. Perhaps not every dream has a deep meaning to it, but I'm convinced that some of them do. Anyway, that is a whole discussion of its own. What rested in the back of my mind since then is that realization that no matter what happens, God is with us and its going to be okay.

Going Crazy!

2008-09-20T11:23:00.002+06:00

I wish I had a photo of what life is like right now, but even a photo would not do justice to the cacaphony of noise and the swelling tide of humanity. So this will have to do. You'll just have to imagine a city of 12 million, opening the floodgates to let another million in, and nearly all of them flocking to the markets to do Eid shopping or to beg from the shoppers. I have heard that during Ramadan, an extra million show up to beg, as people are supposed to be more generous to the poor during this month. Not that I've counted them, but from the little I've ventured out lately, I would say there is a definate increase. From our flat, I can hear nearly constant cries from beggars on the street, invoking the name of Allah, hoping for someone to share with them. I didn't know what to think when Riley started walking around the house chanting, "Allah, Allah". Then there are the hawkers (all of these are normal, by the way, just about twice as many as normal), walking or pedalling through the streets, calling out their wares. Vegetables, bananas, onions, Hilsha fish, big Hilsha fish, Nokshi Kanthas ( quitled bed covers), knife sharpeners, plastic containers, chickens, paper recyclers who want your paper scraps - you name it.

We were out with friends yesterday morning and wanted to grab some lunch before coming home. After sitting in traffic jams and trying to keep the rain off of us, we finally got to our desired place, only to find they were closed because of Ramadan. They wanted us to eat in their fast food section, which was next door. So we started walking in and were met with a cloud of air freshener, being liberally sprayed all over the room. I apologize to anyone reading this who likes air freshener spray, but I hate it! Since Austin shares my feelings, we turned around and walked out. So it was on down the road again to another place. While we were waiting for the food, we decided to stay at home next weekend and as much as possible in between! There is no place like home, even though someone upstairs keeps throwing garbage down and it has been landing in the tree outside of my kitchen verandah and someone from the next floor down thought it was us. Then they complained about the children being loud - I have no idea why. LOL! There is still no place like home.

Happy Kids

2008-09-15T15:53:00.003+06:00

Okay, I just couldn't stop posting pics until I did these. Riley still says his favorite part of the trip was the goats. I think this one is the one they named "Shady".

I guess not all of Jensen's new friends are 2 legged!

Pruitt had a great time too. Somehow we didn't capture him with the goats...

A Few More Shots - Nepal

2008-09-15T15:33:00.002+06:00

I was almost as excited about all the pots of flowers and the moss covered bricks as I was about the mountain views! I managed to find a bit of time to sit outside and read while most of the others were hiking and the children were playing with the goats.

Here is view from the restaurant over the mountain.

A Bhuddist Stuppa with prayer flags.

Faces of Nepal

2008-09-15T15:26:00.001+06:00

Nepal!

2008-09-15T15:11:00.002+06:00

We had a fabulous time in Nepal! We stayed at a small guest house in Dhulikhel, and had some amazing views of the Himalayas. It was just so lovely to be out of the city and surrounded by so much beauty.

Here we are, outside of the guest house where we stayed. The boys had so much fun running around, playing with goats, chopping corn cobs and climbing mountains.

A couple of times we hiked up 1000 steps - no kidding - to a great restaurant. The kids played in a field nearby while we drank coffee and ordered Mo Mos.

We spent a couple of hours in Bhaktapur, a historical city near Kathmandu. Amazing architecture was everywhere! We did some hasty shopping before heading to the airport again.

It is impossible to post pictures of everything we saw and enjoyed. I'll try to get a few more shots posted...

Family, Food and Fairness

2008-09-06T11:53:00.006+06:00

We had another really good week, in spite of the fact that traffic has worsened. In fact, the boys had an after school program one afternoon and were a couple hours late in getting home. They were in good spirits though. Jensen was all excited about learning to play cricket and Pruitt was pleased to show us the first "magic" he learned in Beginners Magic. Riley did a special letter to his grandparents this week and here he is showing it to Grandma Miller.

We finally got around to having Dad's 60th birthday party last night. What a blessing it is to have family here and to all be healthy again! Our celebration was topped off with blackberry cobbler, a rare treat over here!

Amidst so many blessings, I have again been reminded of those who suffer beyond what I can even imagine. Yesterday I read the July/August edition of a Common Place (a magazine put out by MCC) and was blown away by some statistics and stories. Rising food costs have hurt many people in many places. According to the USDA, there was a 4% increase in food costs in the US in 2007. While I know that 4% was huge for many people and don't want to down play the affects it had in the US, I was a bit shocked when I realized how small that was compared to the 40% increase of maize in Kenya and rice in Bangladesh. It was even more shocking to read that in parts of Ethiopia, the price of maize has risen 84%. How can people survive? I often hear my boys saying things like, "But Mom, that's not fair." And I tell them that life isn't fair. More than ever I am convinced that life isn't fair, but in the sense that I got the good end of the deal. I could be watching my children starve to death instead of simply helping them work out their battles with each other. I just can't stop opening my mouth and telling anyone who will listen that we are all in this together. Every choice we make does affect someone somewhere. It takes about 1776 pounds of grain to produce 222 lbs of meat, which is the average meat consumption/person in the US. We can eat less meat. It's not hard and I'm discovering more and more amazing vegetarian dishes! We can buy locally grown products or grow our own ( yeah, I know, those blackberries were not locally grown - but it was a very special occasion and lifestyle issues are different from the occasional splurge. Though I must confess that I will probably move to South America before I give up coffee! But then there is always fair trade, which really does help farmers globally...) It's been an enjoyable challenge for me to learn how to make my own brown sugar, for instance, instead of paying $5/bag for some imported stuff. I've been trying to make granola bars with locally available ingredients and they still need some work. I guess what I'm trying to say is that changing the way we live and eat isn't always easy. It takes a little effort. If you can hop in your car and buzz on down the road to a loaded supermarket and buy all this amazing stuff, it's probably going to be harder for you than it is for me. Some things I don't even have to think about because I don't have as many options and I am so close to where so much is locally grown and we can enjoy fresh produce year round. But wherever we are, we have choices to make and if enough people make small but wise changes perhaps life will become a little more fair for one of our neighbors out there somewhere.

If you'd like to learn more about rising food costs and what you can do, visit mcc.org/food

The Beginning of Ramadan

2008-09-02T09:54:00.002+06:00

Today is the first day of Ramadan. I was awakened sometime in the dark hours of early morning by the sound of a loudspeaker going through the streets, telling people to wake up and eat before sunrise. Later, I picked up my mother-in-law and we walked to the grocery store, dodging cars, CNGs and motor cycles that were driving on the sidewalk. I am not kidding. I've had to dodge cycles before but never cars! It was crazy! If the sidewalks were that bad, you can imagine what the roads were like! In some places we had to make our way onto the street, as the sidewalk was completely covered with construction materials. We got to the store safely and, for some reason, it had a sleepy feel to it. Despite the fact that it was past opening time, the shutters were only partially opened but we ducked under and started shopping. I was surprised to see how sparse the produce selection was, and even more surprised to see the rice/flour/sugar aisle half empty. There was not a single piece of meat in the meat section, not a bag of milk in the coolers. ( Milk is sold in litre or half litre bags here.) I knew certain items would be harder to find this month but didn't expect such sparseness on the first day! We got what we could and bounced home on a rickshaw, in the rain, with our bundles balanced on our laps and at our feet. Now I'm about ready to head to another store and, hopefully, will have a bit more luck this time!

Marty the Monkey

2008-08-26T10:36:00.002+06:00

Pruitt was thrilled to be able to bring Marty the Monkey home with him for the weekend. Marty is sort of the class pet and the kids get to take turns taking him home and writing a little story of what they did with Marty. He and Pruitt pretty much spent the whole weekend together, from the Chinese Restaurant where we went for a banquet to Grandpas' for a "welcome home" time with "cha cha" (Uncle Dustin).

Speaking of monkeys, on the first day of school, as we rounded the corner from Riley's school, we saw about 30 monkeys on the sidewalk. I've never seen them loose in the city before. It was quite a sight!

Christmas in August

2008-08-26T10:10:00.002+06:00

This past weekend was celebration time here in Dhaka! Dustin and Megan arrived safely and Marland was starting to be up and about. His blood tests showed he had dengue fever so it will still be a bit till he feels back to normal but at least he seems to be over the hump! We still have an overdue birthday to celebrate; we'll have to see what we can do about that...

Well, my dear mother did it again! She pulled a good one on us and sent us a whole suitcase full of goodies with Dustin. You should have heard the whoops and hollers as we opened it Friday afternoon!!! Coffee, chocolate, dried blueberries, pecans, ranch dressing mixes, art supplies, kinex for the boys, books, dvds, you name it! It was amazing - still is for that matter. It really was like a cold drink of water on a hot dry day. Well, even better than that! Some things you don't know how much you miss till you have them again.

A picture is worth a thousand words - so this one is for you Mom!

What a great surprise! Thanks Mom!!!